Capitalism is on full display in America today as hundreds of thousands of people sit at their home computers or stare at their work desktop in eager anticipation of Apple’s latest technological launch. What will they bring us today? An Apple car? A bigger phone? A smaller tablet, perhaps?
As you marvel at Apple’s ingenuity, remember this: capitalism works. Disagree? Then why do thousands of people line up outside Apple stores the night before the company releases a new device? Why are American stores opening even earlier on Black Friday? Hey you, super annoying hipster, what phone are you using? Oh, doesn’t matter, because you got it through capitalism. Tell me again what a good socialist you are.
If you make something people want, at a price they can afford, they’ll buy it. And Americans are exceptionally good at creating things people like. Because we can. Because we’re capitalists.
In honor of this particular brand of American exceptionalism, we give you 5 things Americans – because capitalism – have invented or reinvented in a manner far superior to any other country on earth:
1. The automobile. In 1879, two Germans by the names of Gottlieb Daimler and Karl Benz unveiled their invention of the world’s first gasoline powered automobile. However Daimler and Benz targeted the upper class, building vehicles costing upwards of 2,000 marks. Then came good ol’ Henry Ford. Not only did he create a better car – the Model T, but he also pioneered the assembly line and made automobiles affordable ($500-900) for the everyday man. Score one for capitalism.
2. The telephone. On March 10, 1876, American Alexander Graham Bell made the first ever successful bi-directional transmission of clear speech when he spoke into a telephone saying, “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you,” and Watson answered. Thanks to American ingenuity, we now argue whether an iPhone or a Droid is better… while the rest of the world watches on with envy.
3. The Computer. Here’s another one we didn’t invent… we just made it way better. Did you know a Briton named Charles Babbage invented the computer? So proud are the Brits of his feat, that they’ve preserved his brain. Never heard of Babbage? Not surprising. His work was accomplished in 1822… and never really went anywhere. Fortunately for the Brits, their friends across the pond would take Babbage’s idea and turn it into the tech moguls of Macintosh, Apple, and Microsoft. Which the rest of the world, you know, imports from us. Booyah, ‘Merica!
4. The Airplane. In March of 1902, Richard Pearse, a farmer in New Zealand flew for roughly 350 yards (by most eyewitness accounts) in a monoplane aircraft before crashing into a hedge. Credit where due. But it was the American brothers Orville and Wilbur Wright who would be remembered for inventing the airplane after their first flights at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. Queue the Boeings of Pan American Airways, the B-29 Super-fortresses, and the Learjet, and Americans have dominated earth’s airspace for over a century.
5. The World Beyond. Sure, the Russians put a monkey in space before us. Whoop-dee-doo. When did the Russians put a man on the moon? Oh, that’s right. Never. Chinese moon landing? *crickets* Cuba? Nope. All the socialist glory of all the world has never been able to accomplish what capitalist Americans have. And they never will.