Dear moderate Muslims who don’t intend to slay the infidels,
Listen, we’re not trying to tar and feather you as personally responsible for the recent terrorist attack. Obviously not every one of you is strapping C-4 to your chest. Some of you prefer prayer beads. Prayer beads which explode. Just kidding. Still, there’s this glaring fact: at least 70% of global terrorist killings are carried out in the name of Islam. Hence my joke about exploding prayer beads. If moderate Islam is not represented among the 70% then there must be a discrepancy between philosophies. Fair?
Islamic terrorism is not only an attack on fellow humans, it’s an attack on your identity as a Muslim. Or so you claim when saying “ISIS doesn’t represent Islam.” If you don’t align with jihadists who claim to represent your entire demographic, then it stands to reason we should be witnessing a civil war within the Muslim ranks. A civil war between those peaceful Muslims who are shocked by the horror committed by ISIS, and ISIS itself.
Yet so far? Not so much. Meanwhile people are being killed, en masse, by Islamists.
It’s time to pick a side. It’s time to declare your allegiance.
We welcome freedom-loving Americans, and/or members of western civilization, in the fight against Islamic terrorism. Regardless of how they pray to God. Here’s how to get started:
First, you need to openly condemn radical Muslims. No, not just tweeting #NotAllMuslims or bitching about how you’re the victims. We’re done with self pity-parties. You must openly condemn everything ISIS stands for. As a reference, see the passion Christians use to vocally condemn any mass shooting. Or the Westboro Baptists.
Secondly, Sharia law: douse it in gasoline, set it aflame. No more defending it, no more hiding from it. You must advocate against it (THANKS SHARIA: Boy Beheaded… For Listening to Pop Music?!). It’s in everyone’s best interest to send Sharia back to the hell hole from whence it crawled. Sharia, by its very nature, is radical and opposed to moderates like you. Right?
Ban all forms of Sharia. Write your representatives, as Americans do, urging your Islamic leadership to act. I grant you permission this one time to blast Justin Bieber music to make the point. But just this once.
Thirdly, let’s talk apostasy. According to my definition of “moderate” death for converting to a different religion… not moderate. If you think it’s “moderate,” we need to get you a new dictionary. Right now many Islamic countries enforce rigid punishment for apostasy. Including death. You want to fight “radical Islam”? Encourage these countries to reverse course. It’s rather difficult for me to consider the idea of “moderate” Islam if the punishment for leaving it is death. Okay? Okay.
NUMERO QUATRO: Remember the rapestorm that swallowed up Europe when they welcomed Muslim refugees? Yeah, you need to champion against the rape. While we’re on the subject, you should be fighting to protect all women suffering under Islam.
Women have been married off as child brides, beaten, and silenced under Islam and Sharia (see point two). Islam silences women. Be their advocate. Speak up on their behalf. Take note, “feminists,” that’s what caring about women’s rights looks like.
Issue number five: lighten the heck up. People are going to insult your religion. They’re going to draw Muhammad. They should be able to do so without fear of being incinerated (Even After Paris Attacks, Liberals Blame Charlie Hebdo’s ‘Islamophobia.’ Now They Fire Back…). That’s how freedom of speech works. Consider this GIF:
It’s a fun joke about Jesus. Christians depict Biblical figures all the time. Furthermore, anti-Christians who think they’re far more important than what their cracked mirror reflects, frequently depict Jesus in ways which are unbecoming of God. You know what? Nobody dies because of it. Christians may get upset about it, they may take offense. They don’t take anyone’s head. Resist the temptation to decapitate an infidel. Baby steps.
Lastly, renounce the schools of Islam and teachings of Muhammad encouraging genocide of Christians and Jews. No more scapegoating the Christians and the Jews, either. Time to play nice in the sandbox. Even if little Matthew or Moses pours water on your castle. Call them meanies, sure. Don’t shank them.
I gave you a list of six new tenets to embrace if you want to join us to defeat “radical Islam.” Every one of these actions is followed by proactive non-Muslim Americans. The actions listed above are neither extreme or unheard of. Radical Islam can only be defeated politically if the alleged “silent majority” of Islam leftist pundits keep mentioning, actively fights against radical Islam.
We can act as your support, yes. But we can’t fight for you. You have to be at the forefront… You have to remind everyone that Muslims can be regular human beings who don’t get the violence on at any opportunity.
So far, the only people who can truly squash radical Islam from the inside… haven’t been. That’s why people are so frustrated with Islam as a whole. Not because of “racism.” Not because of “xenophobia.” Or any other fake leftist term. Americans witness the silence of “moderate” Islam and draw their own conclusions. If you want to shift their opinions, start acting like every other regular American. Fight for freedom. Fight radical Islam.