The following video is not the Russian story we've all been waiting for. You know, the one where Trump admits to enjoying Russian tinkle showers in exchange for American secrets. Regardless, the following video is easily our favorite Bernie Sanders story of all time (see 'Socialist' Bernie Sanders Makes $1 Million for Second Year in a Row and Bernie Sanders Flip-Flops on America Being 'Compassionate'). Bernie drunk and shirtless in Russia. Signing with his comrades.

Forget dancing queen AOC or bangin' Beto or even that unsettling video of teenage Ted Cruz plotting world domination — this grainy footage of a topless, hammered Bernie Sanders singing “This Land Is Your Land" in the Soviet Union blows them all out of the political shark-filled water.

This really is everything. We deserve this.

No one considered Bernie a threat in 2016, what with Madam Pantsuit's assumed ascension to the presidential throne. As such, there was there was never much of an oppo research dump against Bernie Sanders. So we never saw the naked Sanders singing with the Russians round a table of failed socialist promises.

But Sanders is the front runner now. Or at least in the top three, depending on who you ask. Brace yourselves for much more Sanders than you ever wanted to see.

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