Democrats: Why do Republicans still support Roy Moore?

Republicans: Have you seen Al Franken? Not to mention Bill Clinton and Joe Biden? You want to do anything about those perverts or no?

No, that doesn't excuse Moore in the slightest (see Innocent Until Guilty? Yes. But It’s Not Looking Good for Roy Moore and State Rep Says Moore Accusers Should be Prosecuted. Why That’s a Bad Idea…). But we're now up to the 5th Al Franken accuser. So far, only small chirping crickets from Chuck Schumer.

An Army veteran says Sen. Al Franken groped her in December 2003, telling CNN that while she was deployed in Kuwait, the Minnesota Democrat cupped her breast during a photo op.

Stephanie Kemplin, 41, of Maineville, Ohio, is the fifth woman in two weeks to accuse Franken of inappropriate touching, and the second person to allege that such behavior took place while Franken was on a USO tour. Three of the five women have been identified by name.

"When he put his arm around me, he groped my right breast. He kept his hand all the way over on my breast," Kemplin said in an interview. "I've never had a man put their arm around me and then cup my breast. So he was holding my breast on the side."

Kemplin repeatedly used the word "embarrassed" to describe her immediate reaction at the time.

I can hear the cries from across the interwebs now. She's a soldier, why didn't she sock him? Why didn't she take an elbow to his eye socket and force his seeing sphere through the back of his big head? Why didn't she do the Hokie Pokie and twist his balls around till they were a mangled origami of his role model Bill Clinton? Because there's this little thing called fight, flight, or freeze. Like the wicked heart of Hillary. No one is stopping you from following-up with these guys and enforcing such blows.

Those are all the wrong questions to be asking. We should be asking: can we please hang these men by their prostates and poke them with sticks in dark places? We'll take them down. I promise. No one should be groped, patted, squeezed, poked, rubbed, or shimmied on non-consensually. How is this hard?

Al Franken has got to go. Waiting on the feminists for rhyming chants.

Will these allegations ever end? Another one in 3... 2... 1...

Co-Written by Nichole Cooper and John Porter

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.