Don't you just hate it when you're watching cat videos, living la vida loca on your couch, and a random video comes up instructing on how to best whip a child? Or worse, ways to seduce your own children for a little romp in the crib? There you were watching a cat chase a laser pointer, then bam. How to tie up your toddler. I'd hate to be YouTube's PR representative today. Defending pedophilia is no simple one pot meal. Maybe they'll restrict content creators who criticize their choice of child bondage. Do you want that in leather or nylon?

Advertisers are biting back, pulling ads from the platform.

...Mars Inc., Adidas and Diageo, maker of spirits including Tanqueray and Captain Morgan, have suspended their advertising on YouTube.

The videos were highlighted in a BuzzFeed report that described a “vast, disturbing, and wildly popular universe of videos” that included live-action footage of children depicted in compromising situations. YouTube took down some videos and responded by saying it would do a better job of enforcing its community guidelines.

Probably a good idea. Maybe hold a conference, site wide. "Yes to videos of puppies running in slow motion. No to videos of an elementary school child using a dildo." Ideas. "Yes to videos of gaming techniques. No to videos on kissing techniques for an unconscious, prepubescent child." Get back to basics.

Dozens of users have also claimed that YouTube’s autofill results include phrases that promote pedophilia—for example, typing “how to have” into the search box brought up “how to have s*x with your kids.”

Humanity was a mistake.

The BBC reports that some speculate the asterisk in the results meant that YouTube was targeted in a campaign by trolls to make that response appear by gaming the algorithm.

I believe that. Anyone who has spent five minutes on Twitter understands how some people on the internet have more time than sense. Or value. So well done? It could be argued YouTube being trolled is a just dessert. Between their attack on conservatives, refusal to take down terrorist content, and unwillingness to take violent content off children's platforms, YouTube is having a rough year. It's like karma for the digital age. Maybe that's why they call their subscription service "YouTube Red." For the color of their favorite ball gag. But only for babies. Like a pacifier. But kinkier.

~Written by Courtney Kirchoff and Nichole Cooper

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