There will never be another like Alice Cooper. In terms of pure showmanship, the man puts guys a half century younger than him to shame. Bruno Mars' imp-tastic ass isn't worthy enough to shine Cooper's jack boots. No, that's not a racial thing. It's a showmanship thing. Spare me. If you ever get the chance to partake of Cooper's sonic excellence in person, I highly recommend it.

Alice gave an interview recently where he laid out one of the secrets of his success. He despises co-mingling politics with music. He's simply here to entertain us:

When musicians are telling people who to vote for, I think that’s an abuse of power. You’re telling your fans not to think for themselves, just to think like you. Rock’n’roll is about freedom – and that’s not freedom.

Now, this is what I'm talking about.

I want my shows to take you as far away as possible from politics. It’s supposed to be an escape from the world we’re living in. And you know the next president is going to be worse than Trump, right?

See, this is why Alice Cooper will one day ascend to his throne in the stars, to take his rightful place alongside the gods of metal.

Most other entertainers are self-important douche nuggets. They think we give a rat's fart about what they have to say politically. Yet, contrary to those narcissistic jagweeds' beliefs, we don't fancy Beyonce a political guru because she did "Single Ladies."

It's refreshing to see an entertainer who knows the true purpose of their craft. People don't subject themselves to a Justin Bieber show to hear him deliver a treatise on nuclear proliferation. Nicki Minaj to lecture us on the Israel/Palestine conflict. Meagan Trainor to warn us of the Surgeon General's genocidal campaign against the rotund. We just want to hear them sing, act, or tell jokes. Whatever it is they do.

Going heavy on politics, no matter if it's left or right, almost always ruins a song or a movie. It takes you completely out of the moment. The whole point of comedy is to chuckle. Music is there for us to headbang and sing along. Entertainment is meant to entertain. End of story. Related: Enough Already! James Bond is a Handsome Straight Man and Will STAY THAT WAY!

Speaking of that:

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