So, men everywhere raised a glass to Johnny Depp last night after the jury finally delivered their decision in his defamation suit against ex-wife Amber Heard. She was found guilty and was ordered to pay a total of $15M in compensatory and punitive damages--which, after the cap on compensatory damages was applied, ultimately came to $10.35M. Less the $2M Depp was ordered to pay Heard--because his lawyer couldn't control his mouth--Heard owes Depp about $8.35M.

That's a nice chunk of change. But one might think that a Hollywood actress who recently played a role in a big superhero movie might have that kind of scratch laying around. Hollywood elites regularly drop millions on stupid trinkets and jewelry, right?

Well, Amber Heard doesn't have that kind of money lying around--or at least her lawyer says she doesn't. The New York Post reports that Heard's attorney, Elaine Bredehoft, says the infamous bed pooper "absolutely [can] not" pay the ordered compensation. She also blames the incredible loss in court on suppressed evidence, evidence--like medical records and texts--she claims would have definitely swung the case in Amber Turd's favor.

Turd plans to appeal the verdict. Maybe she'll have better luck the second time around.

If she loses the appeal and still isn't capable of coughing up the dough, I wonder what she'll do to get the money together? She's basically untouchable in Hollywood after this... Maybe she'll try to become a social media "influencer"? My money is on porn. She's definitely looking into opening an OnlyFans account and raking in millions. That's just my guess. Or maybe she'll attempt to pen a book about her story, a heartbreaking tale of a put-upon actress who attempted to fight the patriarchy and lost, which might possibly defame Depp again, resulting in being sued again! That would be amazing!

Regardless, we can all celebrate the damage Heard inflicted on the #MeToo movement.

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