If you find yourself saying "Alexa, show me an asshole," I've got you covered. On Wednesday, a reporter asked Chris's smarter brother, Andrew Cuomo, the presiding dictator of New York, if Cuomo was planning on shuttering school doors to protect people form a virus with a 99% survival rate. That wuhan cough is damn frightening to anyone with barely two brain cells to rub together. Instead of answering politely, Cuomo screeched like a wounded Pterodactyl at the reporter. You may think you know what it's like to be patronized, but Andrew Cuomo is redefining it.

Of note, New York school closures were announced just after Cuomo's audition for the 2020 reboot of Godzilla.

Let's all stop pretending the COVID-19 shutdown has anything to do with a disease. If you disagree, fine, but you might need to get that noggin checked out. I'm not saying I'm right, just that you're wrong.

The shutdown, and the second shutdown some of us are experiencing right now, is all about control over our lives. Even Pretty Young Thing Justin the Hair Model admitted the virus with a 99% survival rate was a perfect moment for the great reset. Take into account the rise in mask use seems to follow the rise in COVID cases, and you have yourselves a puzzler that's more than a coincidence.

Advice to New Yorkers: get the heck out of that hole.

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