There is currently no CDC guidance advising against taking the piss out of Anthony Fauci. As much as Fauci might wish there was. While some write children's books about Biden's favorite bureaucrat and other use Fauci to weed out potential suitors on dating apps, not everyone in America is that enamored by him. Dare I say, some are even put off by the way this unelected media whore has so much control over everyone's lives. You can't spell "Fauci" without "F" and "U" is what I'm saying.

Meet Tyler Fischer. Unlike the New York Times, he's intending to be funny. Before Facebook gets its stubby little "fact" checking fingers limber, no, Fauci didn't actually say any of this. What you are about to see is what we in the comedy world call an "impersonation." Now, if YOU think this sounds like stuff Fauci COULD say, that's between you and your brain.

I'd say, even if you live alone I would wear a mask in the house. Especially in the shower, because, frankly, droplets can make their way through the drain and come up through somebody else's toilet. Infecting them with COVID through the anus. Ballpark? In two to five to twenty years, we can start thinking about considering the idea of pondering the thought of conceptualizing the possibility of maybe perhaps reopening. But probably not. I would avoid having any fun whatsoever in the near to far future.

If a nuclear bomb went off right now and destroyed everything in its path, there would only be three things to survive: cockroaches, Twinkies, and Anthony Fauci telling the cockroaches to put masks on.

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