In efforts to prove that companies who deny long family leave to new mommies and daddies are cruel, greedy, capitalistic heathens squeezing every last productivity drop from their workers, AOC made the case that puppies are given more time with their mothers than human babies are with theirs. Yes, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, THINKER, says "marketplace" denying human mothers -- who haven't elected to chop shop their babies at Planned Parenthood -- to stay at home with their tiny tots longer than eight weeks is borderline inhumane. Watch this, then circle three times before finding a decent place for a nap.

Lemme hit the obvious problems with this first in quick

bullet point fashion:

• Female dogs are called bitches. WTF is AOC implying?
• A private company can offer as much maternity or "family" leave as it wants. The government can put a muzzle on its opinions of it.
• Demanding companies offer a specific time of paid family leave practically guarantees companies will limit how many young women are hired. For good reason. If you have to pay someone even more money to NOT WORK why hire them when you could pay someone to just work? As a woman in the workplace who likes being in the workplace, thanks, I very much disapprove of mandating companies to pay new mommies and daddies oodles of cash not to be at work because they had a kid. I'm sorry, but no I'm not.
• Furthermore, in efforts to keep the pen clean, new mommy dogs will often eat their puppies poop. If the trade is "three weeks more maternity leave if you eat Skylar's doody" maybe I could give it my blessing.

Also, puppies spend eight weeks with their mothers then never see their mothers again. Puppies then go to live with a new family. Have you ever seen a sad puppy who wasn't just sad because you took away its toy/treat/put it in a crate instead of letting it run around to shred everything on the floor including the carpet?

Human moms, on the other hand, return to their babies after work. They do not, to my knowledge, go home to rub their babies noses in their poop if baby didn't ring the bell to caca outside on the grass like a good boy.

Thirdly, when babies spit up, new moms do not wait a beat to see if baby will just eat it again. Regardless of if mommy had six weeks paid leave or two.

I guess the real question is, if moms and dads have more paid leave, do they become better parents making better babies? For example, if mom has more time at home with Winston, will she employ a clicker when Winston rolls over? Will mom then give Winston a bacon bit to reinforce the good behavior, or just simply rub his tummy until his leg twitches?

If we were to mandate companies to give new moms as much as a year off to stay at home with their precious bundles, will there be, at the end of the year, a Westminster Baby Show? Who will judge these babies as the trot in a circle? Because I think it should be Time Person of the Year. Though Joe Biden might want to participate in the sniffing and general baby groping.

All of this is of course stupid. But as my mother pointed out, AOC is so stupid she doesn't know she should be embarrassed.

But she should be. This is embarrassing for her. Great for me, I had fun. But really embarrassing for AOC and everyone who voted for her.

Everyone knows a Golden Retriever would do a better job. Now AOC is making the case herself.

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