TikTok is a social media app run by the communist Chinese. One where you trade off giving all your personal information to communist China in order to tell the world how you self-identify as a frog. Americans should not be using TikTok. If you choose to play with the app anyway, I can't think of a better reason than a police officer using it to mock a perp for shooting himself in the wiener.

It includes the two things we here at the Louder with Crowder Dot Com Website love the most: criminals getting their comeuppance, and excessive use of euphemisms.

The odd thing is this isn't the first "Florida thug shoots himself in the dingly dangly" story we've seen. But with that dinkus (shooting his dinkus) Sheriff Grady Judd is too old school for TikTok and only mocked him with a press conference. Also, because we said his name...

Let's get back to the sheriff at hand, Lee County's Carmine Marceno. Sheriff Marceno tells a tale of "a violent convicted felon roaming the streets of North Fort Myers on a scooter, with a stolen firearm in his waistband." The felon tried to kickstart the shooter, kickstarted the gun instead, and BLAM-O! Right in the ding dong.

Though being a public official, Sheriff Marceno did not make reference to the felon's now deformed genitalia himself. That would be inappropriate. Instead, he shared a clip from the movie Austin Powers. It was when Dr. Evil's phallic-looking rocket was flying through the sky, and everyone looked up making excessive references to a penis.

Trust me, it's hilarious. It was the 90s. You needed to be there.

Let's recap. TikTok is bad. Using TikTok to mock criminals is good. Shooting yourself in the d*ck, as long you're not the one shooting yourself in the d*ck, is never not funny.

Editor’s Note

LwC is on Substack now! Each day we overwhelm your brains with the content you've come to love from the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website.. but algorithms hide our ranting and raving as best they can. The best way to stick it to Big Tech? Subscribe to For the Content!

Totally REAL Opioids Commercial! Sponsored by Big Pharma! | Louder With Crowderyoutu.be