Yes, that's right. A bacon hate crime. Bacon isn't hate. Bacon is proof God loves us. But okay, whatever.

I swear to Jebus, that's what Cambridge authorities are calling it...

Police are increasing patrols at two mosques in Cambridge after strips of bacon were today (June 8) left on the car windscreens to insult fasting Muslims.

Four vehicles were targeted in the hate crime at about 12.30am at the Omar Faruque Mosque in Kirkwood Road, King’s Hedges as Muslims celebrate Ramadan.

Officers will also patrol around the mosque in Mawson Road, off Mill Road, following the incident.

First, bacon is peace. Bacon is love. To quote the great Murray Goldberg, you never have to tell bacon you love it. Bacon just knows.

Secondly, maybe instead of focusing on a prank, authorities may want to pay closer attention to the people who KILL THEIR FELLOW COUNTRYMEN (see London Bridge Attacker was Featured in ‘The Jihadis Next Door’ and MI5 Knew London Terrorist Was Known ‘Extremist’)? While police are hunting down a bunch of wankers with bacon grease on their hands, another extremist is sitting in an apartment somewhere, planning another attack. Another attacker that we're going to find out police knew about, but did nothing but watch.

Meanwhile, a man who wasted perfectly good bacon to insult Islamists, is being hunted. For a prank. Let that sink in.

Look, I consider myself something of an Anglophile (a lover of all things English), but policies like this, where pranksters get more legal attention than Islamists who preach about destroying the West, is one reason the UK is falling to pieces, not unlike a certain wall-sitting egg. Maybe less emphasis on pranksters, more emphasis on terrorists would be a better legal direction.

Maybe stop sympathizing with ISIS, too. Ideas, chaps. Just ideas.

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