The ISIS douchenozzles have run into a speed bump: they're a little low on cash. Suicide vests don't come cheap, yo. So, they've come up with a new way to fund their Middle-Eastern mischief. Selling their soldiers' organs...

Cash-strapped ISIS savages have resorted to stealing organs from its fighters in hospital and selling them on the black market, it has emerged.

The terror group has been raiding medical wards in Nineveh, northern Iraq, before transferring organs to neighbouring Syria and selling them to 'international gangs'.

With its revenues from crude oil beginning to dry up, fanatics have been looking at other ways to make money.

Well, that gives new meaning to something costing an arm and a leg.

Way to take one for the team. I would love to see how that conversation would go. "I am sorry Hamdi. I know you're very attached to your kidney. But those AKs and rocket launchers aren't going to pay for themselves, you know." Talk about awkward.

That's what happens when you don't set a budget. You end up broke, scraping together vital organs like loose change. If you don't exercise a little fiscal responsibility, you'll have to stay home. You won't be able to participate in the mass killings and rapes. Not because you didn't want to. But because you're liver is mostly gone. Bummer, dudes. We all know how much ISIS loves the rape festivals (read ISIS Burns 19 GIRLS In Cages. For Refusing to Have Sex With Jihadists).

ISIS is willing to steal and sell their own friends' body parts. All so they can keep killing everybody that isn't them. If that doesn't crystalize their mission for you, not quite sure what will. ISIS lacks the ability to filter good from bad thanks to a lifetime of Islamic ideology bombarding their brainwashed noggins. Rather like someone who can't filter toxins from their body due to lack of kidneys. See the segue? ISIS hooligans are all too eager to export their ideology to the West, even if that means chop-shopping their own internal bits. Scarily, leftists want to welcome them right on in. Because diversity. This policy is like giving yourself a 100% survival rate for covering yourself in honey and trying to hug a grizzly bear. Or thinking you can have that extra piece of cake, even though you're stomach is currently riding a FedEx truck. Bad ideas, kids.

So ISIS running out of money? Good sign. Maybe soon kidneys won't be enough. Hearts and lungs next. Fingers crossed.

Speaking of ISIS...

WE’RE GOING DAILY! JOIN THE MUG CLUB AND GET ACCESS TO NEW CONSERVATIVE MEDIA VIA CRTV! PRE-ORDER YOUR MUG CLUB MEMBERSHIP NOW!