If you're confused about the path forward in dealing with the New York City virus, join the club. Flattening the curve has turned in to arrest the nonbelievers (see CBS NEWS ENCOURAGES PEOPLE TO SNITCH ON THE ICE CREAM MAN and COLORADO BUSINESS OWNER OPENS FOR MOTHER'S DAY, GETS DEATH THREATS). In these uncertain times, it's important to have a president to unite us, who is not afraid to speak truth to the American people. Thankfully, the only president who matters addressed the nation on Wednesday evening: Barstool President Dave Portnoy.

There's risk. We're Americans. You have to take risks. If people want to go out, they can go out. If they want to stay in, they can stay in. We've done what you've said. You just can't midstream be like "Just kidding! Flatten the curve? Nuh-uh. Cure."

Nothing but respect for MY El Presidente!

Here's why this matters. Most national issues always get viewed through partisan tribal lenses. Doesn't matter what the deal is. If it involves the country, most people huddle with their tribes and respond accordingly. Usually you know what they're going to say before they say it. Yes, that includes the people I agree with in my tribe as well. For the majority of America, it becomes background noise and nothing more.

That's why apolitical voices like Portnoy's are important. They give you a sense of where the country is. And where the country is confused, frustrated, and pissed off. #FlattenTheCurve was a temporary pause that people begrudgingly agreed to. #StayHomeUntilTheFlyingSpghettiScientistSayItsSafe is not. That's just batsh!t crazy. "Reimagining" schools where kids don't leave the house is batsh!t crazy. Closing down some businesses indefinitely, while letting others stay open as long as people wear masks unless they don't wear masks is batsh!t crazy.

And people who feel this way aren't basing it on who they vote for. This week, local restaurant owners in my neighborhood held a press conference looking for answers and talking about how so many of them and their employees are suffering. Do you know what none of them were? Gun-toting, Fox News-watching, MAGA-loving anti-science Trump supporters. They're just people who want their lives back and who didn't agree to an indefinite "new normal" until we find a cure for a single virus and when no one will get sick from anything again ever.

Fox News speaks for the right. CNN speaks for the left. MSNBC speaks for idiots. President Portnoy speaks for the majority of Americans.

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