There is no American custom more nauseating than self-righteous scum-beings patting one another on the back. Otherwise known as award shows.

Two of our "favorite" people, Beyonce and Colin Kaepernick, cursed graced the award stage for Sports Illustrated. It was as crappy as you'd expect:

Beyonce wasn't supposed to make an appearance, but as always, she had to be the center of attention. At least amidst all the harassment turmoil, we can always count on Queen Bey to center us on her. Namaste.

Beyonce presented Colin Kaepernick with Sports Illustrated's Muhammad Ali Legacy Award on Tuesday night, and the athlete promised that 'with or without the NFL's platform, I will continue to work for the people.'

If by working he means kneeling, he could definitely find a job. Like helping people with their shoes at Foot Locker. Not because he's black, but because he'd rather kneel. It was the cleanest joke I could hit.

'Thank you, Colin Kaepernick,' the 22-time Grammy winner said. 'Thank you for your selfless heart. And your conviction.

'Thank you for your personal sacrifice. Colin took action with no fear of consequences or repercussions, only hope to change the world for the better.'

Yes. He thought he was cool for catering to a leftist narrative as real as Beyonce's raw talent. Take away her dancers and spectacle, and what have you got? I can hear the Beyhive buzzing in rage.

Fear came only after he couldn't get drafted. And that wasn't for his kneeling. Have they even seen his stats?

Pro-tip to quarterbacks: don't throw the ball to the opposing team. That's called an "interception," and they're frowned upon. But cool, cover up for your lackluster career by protesting the anthem. Only to be praised by all of the left's glittering fools. Who now award him with praise.

Who ever said losers never prosper.

Get caught up on the fake news of Black Lives Matter:

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.