Maybe Bud Light's new marketing plan is troll bait. They put out stuff they know the internet is going to rip to shreds and count on us to do the promoting for them. It might work. It most certainly is NOT working so far. Bud Light fell out of the top ten most popular beers in America. But when you are desperate and want to try anything other than the one thing that might help (admitting you f*cked up), this tweet is as good a piece of content as any.

A woman in the middle of a storm attempting to eat watermelon, with the caption "it's fine, this is fine." On the table, a can of Bud Light.

Methinks this is what they were going for.

Shout out to Bud Light's social media team, though. They come in every day knowing no matter what they do, the internet is going to let them know how much they suck at life. Hey, as long as the paycheck still clears, amirite? It might not for much longer, but is now!

People can be mean.

This one made me squirt locally brewed imperial stout out of my nose. Yes, I'm drinking before noon.

At this point, Bud Light should quit and go hard in the other direction. Remember how we got here.

1. Controversial titface performer Dylan Mulvaney announced he and/or she was a new brand ambassador for Bud Light as part of their March Madness campaign. An odd choice since in Dylan's portrayal of a woman he presented as someone too ditzy and basic to know what March Madness was, as opposed to any of the thousands of women who love college basketball.

2. A podcast appearance of now-former Bud Light VP Alissa Heinersceid came to light. The now disgraced marketing elitist lashed out at Bud Light customers as "fratty" and "out of touch. It was important to her to have another approach that included a San Francisco-based "influencer" marketing firm setting her up with Mulvaney. There is a trend with progressives where the only way to be "inclusive" and "for everyone" is to sh*t on the people who currently enjoy a product. It's called the Kathleen Kennedy method.

Bud Light's role as the #1 beer in America was sabotaged by people who don't drink Bud Light and hate people who do drink Bud Light because they want their customers to be someone else entirely. Own it. Make Dylan Mulvaney the official Queen of Beers. Bring in former VP Melissa Weinerchild to say "You're goddamned right I think you rubes are fratty and out of touch." And target to a niche audience of upper-class elitists and gender identity-obsessed progressive zoomers who demand their political worldview be validated by everything and everyone.

The company will never have the courage to apologize and admit they f*cked up. Might as well go all in the other way.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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