Here's the score so far: no NRA member has, to my knowledge, ever gone on a shooting rampage. Though we have a least two NRA members who've saved the day. Yet the media and their fellow butt-sniffing kiss-ups in government blame the NRA for every shooting rampage. Criminals, by definition, do not follow the laws. Yet after every criminal commits a crime with a gun, media and their fellow boot-licking wimps in government say "MOAR gun control laws" will stop a criminal. Now businesses, who kind of sell guns in addition to a plethora of other crap, are moving up the age to purchase a gun. For no other reason, in my opinion, than to virtue signal their smiley-face, heart-dotted signatures to liberal wankers who may, or may not, patronize their establishments. Like maybe some mommy bloggers. Worse, governmental snotgoblins who write regulations. More on that later.

You may find this title and above paragraph to be more obvious than Richard Simmon's sexual preferences. Obvious is the point. The understanding of nuance has been lost with common sense. I've had to trade between-the-line subliminal messaging for a sledgehammer. I'm not pleased.

For two weeks now I've sat at my computer wondering "What more can I say about guns, gun control, the 'scary' AR-15, or the NRA which I've not already said?" Only to be deluged with a constant barrage of stupid from the news, the government, and social media. Which, frankly, is where stupidity breeds. Culimiating with President Trump parroting talking points spewed by the Second Amendment's most vocal haters. With some of his MAGA lackeys rushing to his defense, trying to excuse Trump's mind-blowingly ignorant and harmful comments as some unknown version underwater 4D chess.

Such is the proliferation of gun stupidity, mainstream businesses like Walmart and now Kroger are getting in on the #MeToo gun control idiocy. Joining the virtue signaling ways paved by the bleeding hearts over at Dick's Sporting Goods. Who actually stopped selling AR-15s years ago, but recently renewed its vows for the feel-good points. Becuase you know. Never let a crisis go to waste when you can score hashtagging points like they're coins in Mario Cart.

All Dick's, Walmart and Kroger have done with their "brave" decision to up the gun purchasing age by a few years is drop their pants in offering to eager, puckered lips.

Wait. Maybe I have that metaphor reversed. Ah yes. What Dick's, Walmart and Kroger have really done is lather their own lips with vaseline, in hopes of kissing the hairy derrières of leftist activist groups who "spontaneously" form marches on Congress to "do something" about guns.

That's better.

Hardly a brave move considering Dick's, Walmart and Kroger's sales rely heavily on things which are not guns, no? Which is why I have to continue to state the obvious: such businesses making "grand" gestures to raise the age of gun purchasing are nothing more than butt-kissing sycophants. They're kissing the butts of activist groups who petition Congress. In hopes of storing a little political capital.

Brief interruption: yes, private businesses can make their own choices. Not sure what they're doing is legal, raising the age of a product for purchase, but we can debate that later.

All I see here are businesses hoping to score some future points with leftist activists next time there's a talk of the minimum wage, tax policy, medical insurance. Or who Katniss should've shot first. I vote Peeta. Who would've seen that plot twist coming? Besides, I can't take someone seriously if they're named after a pocketed bread. Albeit with slight spelling modifications. Stuff that whiner full of poisoned berries and be done. Peeta pocket died a berry pie. Say that five times fast.

You see what the gun stupidity has done to me? I'm calling for the death of a fictional character named after an unleavened pastry. Is it a pastry if it's unleavened? Can we talk about bread instead of how stupid people are about guns?

These businesses are catering to an activist demographic. Is it within their rights? Sure. Is it troubling? Yes. Transparent? Uh huh. Would we all rather talk about how naming a person, real or not real, after a gluten treat is lame?

In a much-needed summary, if you're a big box store which sells shoes, yoga mats, camping tents, sleeping bags, macaroni and cheese, and possibly paperback copies of The Hunger Games, you're not a gun shop. Virtue signaling your "Look at us do something about guns, send us digital hugs" is fooling only those people too stupid to find their own breasts.

Wake me up when the stupid is over. I can't. I'm overwhelmed. Send help and cookies.

~Written by Courtney Kirchoff