Joining a fraternity just got a lot hazier. Sure, you can still sign up for weird human centipede games. All night keggers. And bad jokes which will haunt you for the rest of your life. It's just you'll be severely penalized for it, while you're in the frat house:

Harvard University is upholding a policy that pressures secretive all-male social clubs to accept students of any gender, its top leadership announced on Tuesday.

First, how can Harvard monitor secretive male clubs? This question is never answered.

In a private meeting on Monday, the university’s governing board voted to approve a May 2016 rule saying students who join single-gender clubs are forbidden from leading campus groups or serving as captains of sports teams. The rule also says the university, based in Cambridge, won’t back those students for major scholarships.

University administrators created the rule to spur change among male social groups known as final clubs, including some that date to the 18th century and count former U.S. presidents among their past members. Recently, they clubs have been accused of problems with alcohol and sexual assault.

Quick way to solve it: half of the fraternity could identify as ladies. They don't even need to wear a dress, unless that's part of the hazing process. Pantyhose, Prada pumps. Tucked dicks. Changing their name from Ryan to Renatta.

Of course half of them won't identify as the shefolk. But that's beside the point. If a college is concerned about a secret club's assault record, the solution is not to infuse it with women. If a club has a rape problem, an actual rape problem not to be confused with fake rape, punishing the guys by taking away leadership roles for sports seems... stupid. Rape and assault should be punished in a court of law. Not by banning someone from a basketball court.

The rule also applies to all-female clubs and to fraternities and sororities that are open to Harvard students even though the university doesn’t officially recognize them. Groups that represent fraternities and sororities also have protested the rule, saying their groups provide enriching experiences for students.

You know who's excited about these new rules? Male feminists with no game. They'll join sororities hoping to get close to women, claiming they love women's rights. They fight for women! Now lemme grab your bewbies.

But wait, it gets even more communistic:

“Ultimately, students have the freedom to decide which is more important to them: membership in a gender-discriminatory organization or access to those privileges and resources,” the statement said.

"Freedom to decide which is more important to them" is not really how freedom here works. The college is forcing students to abandon greek life, whatever your opinion of it may be, over simple guilt by association. Guilt here being "how dare we celebrate men being with other men, women being with other women." Remember when we celebrated diversity? Now we're forcing organizations, which have always been established by gender, to reorganize because of gender. It's an unofficial war on gender. No?

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