May the 4th is known as Star Wars Day. You know, May the Force Be with You? May the 4th? This is the May? Don't look at me like that, I don't make the rules. It's a day for brands to show how hip and cool they are with lame Star Wars references to their products. Though it appears that no one told Canada's Finest about this. They saw a stormtrooper with a gun about to do Darth Vader's evil bidding, so they attacked.

Turned out it was just a girl in a costume. Also, the gun was plastic.

“We had music playing in the parking lot, we had one of our staff dress up as a stormtrooper kind of waving to people walking up and down the road, we had people stopping by and getting pictures with the stormtrooper, we put a couple of promotions on in the restaurant to entice people to come."

Obviously, the cops were Star Trek fans. Or idiots. Or idiot Star Trek fans, Trekkies being the inferior fandom. Think DC Comics nerds versus the vastly superior Marvel Comics.

[Some] members of the public must have seen her brandishing a plastic toy blaster believing it was a real gun and phoned police. Lethbridge Police Service (LPS) Inspector Jason Walper says they got two 911 calls regarding a firearms complaint near the business on 13 Street North. “

What's scary is that this story took place in 2020. Think about how much more terrifying Canada has gotten toward guns since then.

Police officers had guns drawn, pointed at my employee. They were yelling at her to put the gun down so she threw the plastic gun on the ground. At that point in time when I came out, she was on her knees kneeling down on the ground. The police had already checked and seen that the gun was plastic so they already knew that there wasn't an issue or a risk there."

Back to the knuckleheads who need to have their badges taken away from them and put on permanent desk duty. "Officer, there's a space man standing outside of the pizza place with a laser gun. I think it's a terrorist attack." NO ONE had the common sense to say that was a little off? Or even if Karen and her neighbor Other Karen called and said there is someone across the street with a gun, surely the fact that it was someone dancing in a Halloween costume should have clued the county mounties in on it. Dudley Do-Right is a more competent lawman. Or even Steven Wright's character from Canadian Bacon.

I'm from the last generation that was allowed to play with realistic-looking, black plastic guns. They started painting toy guns bright colors because authorities might see a twelve years old with a bazooka and think it was real. Me and my other ten-year-old friends thought no one could be that stupid. Turns out we were wrong.

It's shocking to believe that there could be something more embarrassing to the Star Wars Universe than the Han Solo origin story. Congratulations, Canada. You did it.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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