Chris Evans is a doucheburrito wrapped in a tufu tortilla. You may consider that insult sophomoric. That's because it is, I concede the point. But I dare you to come up with a more apt, scholarly insult for the unknowingly pretentious snot harbinger after reading these selected snippets from his interview with The Hollywood Reporter. Evans is best known as Marvel's boy scout superhero not yet cast by a British person, Captain America. Taking a cue from the other captain from Marvel's overstuffed universe, Brie Larson, Evans lathered himself up with politics and turned the water to scalding dumbass.

Asked about his "lit" Twitter where he's an active member of the "resistance" like every other stunning and brave Hollywood star whose movies rake in cash from everyday Americans, Evans reflected on alienating Trump supporters:

He worries about doing too much of this sort of thing, about it seeming performative or becoming white noise — Chris Evans, back on his bullshit. He does not worry about saying something online that might inspire MAGA-minded fans to microwave their Captain America action figures.

Emphasis mine, because if you're reading it in the morning you might miss the "does not" part. Evans does NOT mind ticking off MAGA people over his unoriginal Twitter anti-Trump takes.

Compare the above sentiment with the quotation below and tell me if this sounds like a brilliant thought leader you want in your camp:

"You don't want to alienate half your audience," says Evans. "But I'd be disappointed in myself if I didn't speak up. Especially for fear of some monetary repercussion or career damage — that just feels really gross to me."

"I don't want to alienate half the audience. But they're idiots who don't know better and I'd feel gross if I didn't tell them what nimrods they were." That's what I call reading between the lines.

If you think my interpretation of Evans' quotation is whack, check out this blurb where Chris rags on six time Super Bowl winner Tom Brady. Who may not hate Trump as much as Evans thinks sane people worthy of admiration should hate Trump:

"I don't know," he says. "I really hope he's not a Trump supporter. I'm just hoping he's one of those guys that maybe supported him and now regrets it. Maybe he thought it was going to be different — and even that bothers me — but maybe there's a chance now he just thinks Trump's an absolute dumb shit, which he is. If he doesn't, if he's still on that Trump train, I might have to cut ties. It's really tough."

Allow me to put the story together. If you support Donald Trump and you like the Marvel superhero movies, you're a better person than Chris Evans. You, unlike Evans, can separate the art from the artist. You, when you watch any of the 17,034 Avengers movies and the 32 million one thousand and two standalone films, are a more tolerant person than Chris Evans, who may sever his football allegiance over the possible opinion of their quarterback.

I consider actors to be artists. Yes, yes, reading in front of a camera doesn't seem hard to some of you, I get that. But it is. Acting is a skill. You don't think it's a skill until you see it done poorly. Or you try it yourself. Is Evans the be all end all of actors? No. But he's decent at it.

Tom Brady is a much better quarterback than... well anyone, if we're going by the rings. But he's certainly a much better quarterback than Evans is an actor. Why can't Evans just enjoy Tom Brady for his sheer skills on the field?

Because Chris Evans is, as I said, a doucheburrito. He's so intolerant of people who think differently than him, he's willing to cut ties. He's so intolerant of people who don't vote the way he does, he's proudly tweeting for "The Resistance" while asking you for your money. Related: Harry Potter Actor Daniel Radcliffe is Upset that Tom Brady is a Trump Supporter.

Imagine what he thinks of you, just regular MAGA hat-donner, who's not a fabulous quarterback.

Avengers: Endgame hits theaters April 26. Just so you're aware.

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