The movie Lightyear bombed at the box office. We're not sure why, but it could rhyme with schmesbian kiss. Or it could be because Chris Evans is a douche. We also celebrate Juneteenth and... hey, look! The holiday has already been marred with violence. We discuss this holiest of woke holidays. And Joe Biden fell off of his bike because he's old and stupid.

Captain Asshat Chris Evans Called Americans WHAT? Lightyear FAILED | Louder with Crowderwww.youtube.com

BICYCLE JOE

• Former vice president Biden decided to take his two-wheeler out for a ride on Saturday. It didn’t go well. SOURCE: Twitter
• Biden says he’s okay, though.
  • He didn’t exactly say he was okay. It was more like a weird game of charades… SOURCE: Twitter

LIGHTYEAR FLOPS AT BOX OFFICE

• Disney Pixar’s Lightyear debuted this weekend, and it was a big stinkin dud! SOURCE: BLOOMBERG
  • The film grossed just $51M, far behind pre-release projections of $70M.
• Experts are scratching their heads trying to figure out where it all went wrong, but it definitely wasn’t because of this. SOURCE: YouTube
• All of this is surrounding the controversy of the lesbian relationship depicted in the film.
  • As Bloomberg so eloquently puts it: SOURCE: Bloomberg
    • “The film also faced bans abroad and ire from conservative political figures in the US who say the movie’s fictional space inhabitants in a same-sex couple couldn’t naturally produce children and that the portrayal violates their religious beliefs.”
• Another factor that probably didn’t help was the film’s decision not to cast Tim Allen. SOURCE: CinemaBlend
  • Former Everybody Loves Raymond star Patricia Heaton tweeted: SOURCE: Twitter
    • “Saw the trailer for Buzz Lightyear and all I can say is Disney/Pixar made a HUGE mistake in not casting my pal @ofctimallen”
    • “Tim Allen in the role that he originated, the role that he owns. Tim IS Buzz! Why would they completely castrate this iconic, beloved character?”

ABORTION PROTESTS AT JUSTICE BARRET’S HOUSE

• Hoping to put an end to Father’s and Mother’s Day, there were pro-abortion protests this past weekend. SOURCE: Twitter
• They proceeded to walk to Justice Amy Coney Barrett’s house with “blood” painted on their pants, tape over their mouths, and baby dolls in their hands. SOURCE: Twitter
  • Arianna and her friends shared more of their thoughts with us. SOURCE: Twitter
• Except abortions have all but ended in South Dakota pending the release of the SCOTUS decision. SOURCE: KTIV
  • Gov. Kristi Noem, a woman, celebrated the closure of the last abortion clinic in her state by saying: SOURCE: Twitter
    • “Abortions have stopped in South Dakota. We have prayed for this day, and now it is here.”
    • “Now, we must redouble our focus on taking care of mothers in crisis. Help is available for you. Adoption is an option. You are never alone.”
  • So far, there’s no sign of bloody women wandering the streets with dead babies in their hands.
• Perhaps the protesters are like this young lady, who just enjoys killing babies. SOURCE: Twitter
• The Supreme Court is scheduled to release more opinions tomorrow and Thursday.

PETE BUTTIGIEG YELLS AT THE AIRLINES

• Air Travel is starting to get crazy in the US and Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg is warning Airlines to step up their game… or else! SOURCE: NBC 
  • Buttigieg also said: SOURCE: Politico
    • “his department could take enforcement actions against airlines that fail to live up to consumer-protection standards.”

JUNETEENTH VIOLENCE = WRONG KIND OF VIOLENCE

• On Sunday, June 19, Congressman Adam Kinzinger of the January 6 Committee had this to say about future violence. SOURCE: YouTube
  • Here’s footage from the Juneteenth “Moechella” celebration in Washington D.C. SOURCE: Twitter
• According to the chief of police, the event was promoted on social media, but unauthorized. SOURCE: Newsweek
  • One 15-year-old was shot dead, and three others were wounded, including one officer.
• There was an EARLIER violent altercation, in which people ALSO fled on foot. SOURCE: Twitter
  • But the police did not close the event!

FINA BANS TRANS SWIMMERS

• On Sunday, the International Swimming Federation announced a new “gender inclusion” policy. SOURCE: YouTube
  • Male-to-female athletes must have “transitioned” prior to the age of 12. SOURCE: CNN
  • Female-to-male cannot have used testosterone for more than a year. SOURCE: CNN
• They are looking to open a third category for trans people. SOURCE: CNN

MISC.

• A random TikTokker has finally admitted to the purpose of “neopronouns.”