Good ol' Chris Pratt. Assuming that he'll say something to offend woke twats, he took to Facebook to make amends before it happens.

This comes from a post he made in 2015, after seeing how easily outraged everyone was with the Avengers (cough::Jeremy Renner::cough) over comments made at various points of their press junket, but it's timeless. And when you consider how terrible cancel culture has gotten in the eight years since -- some of which was directed at Chris Pratt not for things he said but for things people assume he thinks -- the actor was like Nostradamus.

"I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try! When I do (potentially) commit the offensive act for which I am now (pre) apologizing you must understand I (will likely have been) tired and exhausted when I (potentially) said that thing I (will have had) said that (will have had) crossed the line. Those rooms can get stuffy and the hardworking crews putting these junkets together need some entertainment! (Likely) that is who I was trying to crack up when I (will have had) made that tasteless and unprofessional comment. Trust me. I know you can't say that anymore. In fact in my opinion it was never right to say the thing I definitely don't want to but probably will have said. To those I (will have) offended please understand how truly sorry I already am. I am fully aware that the subject matter of my imminent forthcoming mistake, a blunder (possibly to be) dubbed "JurassicGate" is (most likely) in no way a laughing matter. To those I (will likely have had) offended rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure this doesn't happen (again)."

And in conclusion...

It used to be clockwork. The actor would do something that reminded everyone he exists, and some form of "cancel Chris Pratt" would trend on Twitter. Then Elon Musk fired the Twitter Curation team. They were the commie-as-f*ck employees tasked with curating what you saw trend. Now, it doesn't happen as much. Weird, right?

When it still happens on occasion, usually around the fact he practices one of the Jesus-based religions, he'll respond to the haters with a simple Bible quote or two. And telling naysayers what to stick up their butts.

Chris Pratt is simply one of our greatest living Americans. You can't change our minds. One day he'll drop scripture while vacuum sealing the meat he just killed. The next day he is Vince Vaughn's lawyer defending him against 142 paternity suits. The next day, he's a Lego. Chris Pratt is all of us.

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