When Chuck Schumer isn't accusing Trump of inciting an erection, he's claiming not to know what these crazy Republicans are talking about. As Senate Majority Leader, it's his duty to feign ignorance of his opposition party's concerns. It's the only way.

Earlier today, he did just this when discussing the "woke agenda," saying, "[Republicans] say they want to cut the woke agenda. What's that? What cuts does that mean? Some say the 'woke military agenda.' I don't even know what the heck they're talking about."

Let me help ya out there, Chucky. For starters, the army is literally teaching female officers how to cope with showering with women who also happen to have penises because they're actually biological men. Last year, the military spent over $1M to root out "extremism" and implement "diversity, equity, and inclusion" strategies. The Naval Academy introduced a "Diversity Peer Educator Program," to create "walking safe spaces" to defend against microaggressions. And who can forget the army ad featuring Emma, a girl raised by two moms who joined the army because she wanted something beyond her sorority. So she joined the army. The army.

Need I go on?

As for the woke agenda in general, it's everywhere, if you only want to look. Disney was just blasted for including literal Critical Race Theory and anti-white propaganda in a kid's show. A mom in New Hampshire is supposed to just allow a biological male to urinate in front of her 13-year-old daughter because inclusivity, or something. And we're all supposed to pretend that Grammy's performance by Sam Smith was totally normal, not a shred of Satanism in sight. Besides the devil horns.

Some of these issues obviously can't be solved by Congress. But it doesn't help that half the country simply ignores what's happening and labels anyone who points it out a kooky conspiracy theorist.

But I'll give Chuck the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's still thinking about how Trump incited an erection.