Zyn was getting too popular. It was only a matter of time before Rule 69-420 went into effect: If it is something Americans enjoy, there is a progressive somewhere who wants to ban it. Now Chuck Schumer is coming along to take your upper deckies away.

Zyn's a pouch you can chew on to get your nicotine fix without having to smoke cigarettes or look like a douche vaping. I don't get the Zyn thing, but I've transitioned into the 45-55 demographic. I've also only smoked a total of five cigarettes in my life. Five tobacco cigarettes, anyway. It still feels weird that the other thing is mostly legal now.

If you can get your nic fix and I don't have to smell every cig you smoked that week when I stand next to you, I say God bless. Plus it has Tucker's stamp of approval.

Not Chuck Schumer, who has shown a proven bigotry against the fellas since 2010 when he tried to ban Four Lokos. “A pouch packed with problems. High levels of nicotine. So today, I’m delivering a warning to parents because these nicotine pouches seem to lock their sights on young kids, teenagers, and even lower, and then use social media to hook ’em.”

Of course, he is doing this because THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!11!!11! Even though his party doesn't think of the children when it comes to stealing sports scholarships from girls or kicking teens out of school to make room for illegal immigrants. And the bars about Zyn being marketed to teens is crap, because Zyn isn't "marketed" as much as bros over the age of eighteen talk about it on social media a lot.

Americans like it. Democrats have to ban it. Schumer doesn't realize the enemy he made here.

Bros are ready to make the violent 2020 BLM riots look like the mostly peaceful January 6th protest.

But the dumbest thing in all of this is Schumer creating a new group for voters who already hate politicians but are now mobilized. "You just pissed off a group of voters who already don’t like you. And you picked the least politically active voters of all time to piss off. I’d say maybe 40% of a frat will vote in a presidential election. Now, you’ve just made them aware of something they couldn’t have given a sh*t about a mere 12 hours ago."

My question to everyone now is which one of you bros is going to confront Joe Biden when he is being propped up on the campaign trail and get him to comment on the Zynsurrection? Y'all did great work getting Brandon Falls declared a landmark. Find Biden. Do it for the Zyn. But more importantly, do it for the content.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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