We've kept you up to speed on CNN delightfully crumbling before our eyes. Our teary eyes. The sweet, sweet joy of it. Were they not giant douchemeisters, we might actually feel bad for them. Oh well. Their lying rectal regions just got dealt another blow. The new cable ratings are out, and CNN's rankings have taken a nosedive.

CNN has fallen to #13 in cable TV rankings, according to weekly numbers posted on Thursday by TV Newser.

The ratings slide comes as the network has come under heavy scrutiny for a variety of journalistic missteps, including the retraction of an article alleging that a Trump associate had illicit Russian business ties.

Fox News and MSNBC are listed as first and second, respectively, in the cable rankings, which measured average audience sizes for the period between June 26 and July 2. Fox News drew an audience of around 1.82 million while MSNBC drew an audience of 1.34 million. CNN had only 711,000 viewers on an average day during the measurement period.

You know you're in deep caca when you can't even outperform forty-year-old reruns on Nick-At-Nite. So much for "the most trusted name in news." Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Who can blame people for tuning their TV boxes elsewhere? With their recent fake newsery, the hacks at CNN have proven themselves to be a bunch of dishonest phlegm wads. They crafted a narrative they knew was false, just to impeach the Trump. Only to have Trump grab them by their metaphorical vaginal area.

Even when the goons at CNN aren't lying their lumpy posteriors off, they engage in rampant stupidity. From demanding evidence of no evidence to employing cannibals, there seems no absurd low to which CNN won't stoop. People want to unwind when they turn on the telly, not have an aneurysm from the non-stop cringe on your channel. Just saying.

The reason for the massive viewer fallout? Nobody trusts CNN, and for good reason. That network has blatantly lied to prop up their leftist puppet-masters longer than Amy Schumer stole jokes. People don't like being deceived and taken for fools. Some advice. I'd change that "most trusted" tagline. Maybe "most triggered by animated gifs." Or something a little more concise: "CNN: Trump's Bitches."

You brought all of this on yourselves.

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