"Something, something, ___ won't help the middle class" --- thus are the screeching squalls of the left as their snowflake frames melt under successful tax reform. Let's mop up their puddles as we immediately show how tax reform is helping the middle class. Let's begin with massive salary hikes, shall we?

Three major corporations are increasing employee salaries just after tax reform is passed and just in time for Christmas. Fa-la-la-fabulous wages. But it gets even better!

Fifth Third Bancorp will pay more than 13,500 employees a bonus and raise the minimum wage of its workforce to $15 an hour after the passage of the Republican tax plan that will cut the bank's corporate tax rate.

AT&Tsaid earlier Wednesday that it would pay more than 200,000 U.S. employees $1,000 each and increase its capital spending budget by $1 billion.

Wells Fargo, meanwhile, also said it would be boosting its minimum wage for employees to $15 an hour, which was prompted by the tax plan. The San Francisco-based bank also said it would target $400 million in donations to community and nonprofit organizations next year.

Cincinnati-based Fifth Third, the fifteenth largest U.S. bank by asset size, said the tax cut allowed it to re-evaluate its employee pay and pass along some of the windfall.

That's right, boys and girls. The $15 wages are finally happening, rejoice! When we give our homeland companies a take-five from the heavy load of taxes, they pass down the monies. Who would've thunk?

Now, we're not saying we support the fight for fifteen. Nay, forcing corporations to indulge such sweeping salary hikes of prego illegals working at, say, McDonald's would bankrupt the economy. We are saying private companies can do whatever they beaver dam well please. And these mega-corporations pleasure themselves in their employees. That may have sounded wrong, but it's oh so right.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.