So there you are, hoping to order a Big Mac without an SJW lecturing you about how beef is murder and the chocolate shake you want (for dipping your fries, because that's a thing apparently) is bad for the environment, when along comes an outlaw. That's pretty much what went down in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Double saloon doors not withstanding, an assailant armed with crowbar tried to have it his way at a Burger King in Oklahoma. Maybe he was just preparing for the liberal lecture and thought, hey, next time I'll just crowbar someone. Possibility. Not on the menu? A bullet in the shoulder. Maybe it comes with the number two in lieu of fries.

Police say a would-be robber came at a man with a crowbar outside a Burger King in East Tulsa, but the victim pulled out a handgun and shot the alleged robber in the shoulder, WFTV News reports. The perpetrator drove himself to the hospital.

Police say the shooter will likely not be charged, because the shooting was in self defense.

The self-defense shooting continues a trend for Tulsa, which has seen several shootings in self defense this year.

Firstly, why Burger King? Yeah, maybe this is a forest for the trees kind of scenario, but seriously. Why Burger King? I know some people really hate that creepy King mascot thing they have, but not sure a crowbar is the best defense against that weirdo. I'd vote sword. Or least a bayonet.

Secondly, this should be one of those stories that gives you the warm and fuzzies as your nomming onion rings. It should be the kind of story which starts "Once upon a time I wanted a hamburger and shot a bad guy. That's why daddy carries a gun, sweetie. Burgers matter." Okay, so we don't know if he was ordering beef or chicken. Not important. But you know what else we don't know? What the perpetrator would have done if no one had stopped him. Best case scenario he would've scared a bunch of people and robbed the place. Worst case scenario, toothless bodies and a corners report reading "Blunt force trauma." Which means the mayonnaise to this story is even in a Burger King, if you're up to no good, someone will drop you like hot potato. Come in with a crowbar, come in with intent to do harm, you'll get your ass shot. Welcome to Oklahoma.

Apparently this isn't the first time someone in Oklahoma has shot a shifty creeper. Oklahoma has pretty broad rules in protecting oneself. In this case the law totally worked. Weird. When you give people the right to defend themselves, even a fast food restaurant gets safer. Read Actually, Carrying Guns on College Campuses CAN Make Them Safer. The Second Amendment...hits keep on coming.