Have your barf and punch bag on standby. Americans are importing sex dolls for their pleasure dungeons. Some of these dolls resembled children. Even children they know (yes, that's a feature). These dolls could simulate emotions, like sadness and fear, meaning sick perverts could simulate raping children. The revulsion of this reached the US House yesterday, which approved a ban on the importation and trafficking of these gateway rape devices.

The U.S. House approved a ban Wednesday on the importation and trafficking of anatomically correct child sex dolls and robots that “normalize sex between adults and minors.”

Unfortunately, I need to make some distinctions here. For the perverted incels of the child-diddling variety. No, it's not okay to want to boink a child. No, it's not okay to want to boink a child substitute. The problem here isn't the device itself, it's the itch the device is scratching. Wanting to have sex with a child shouldn't be assuaged with a realistic looking sex doll. If you have a sexual attraction to children, you need psychological help before someone puts a bullet in your head for touching a child.

Spoiler alert: pedophiles will find no sympathy here. Zero.

“I am saddened that there are people in this world who would create realistic child sex dolls and distraught that there are people in this world who would buy them,” Goodlatte said.

“Customers can order bespoke dolls, providing pictures of specific children they would like the doll to resemble. They can indicate a preferred facial expression such as sadness or fear,” he said.

The congressman used the word "saddened" when I would've said "sickened." Again, wanting to have sex with children, or a doll which looks like a child, even a child you know, is the problem. I walk that back zero.

Already I can hear voices on the left saying "But isn't it better if a pedophile has a doll so he doesn't go after a child?" Which is the same argument of "They're going to do it anyway, might as well lessen the impact." No. Because if a pedophile likes f*cking a child doll, if they get off on screwing a toy, at what point do they decide "This is great, but the real thing would be better." Yeah, I'm using the slippery slope argument. I would love it if I was wrong, that the slippery slope argument was a fallacy here. But I'm not down with the implications.

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