Dear Leftists,

It's no secret that most of you anti-secondamendment-ers (yes, new word) are lily-livered cowards, hiding behind armed security, standing atop ivory towers as you berate the rest of us as racist criminals for wanting weapons. Also you love telling us to lay off the salt, we're too fat. But that's another post. Your greatest dreams are filled with a defenseless citizenry who are entirely dependent on you for just about everything, including protection. Well this is awkward... because you've continually failed to defend us. Heck, you won't even admit there are terrorists who want to Allahu Akbar us right off FarmVille... wait, is FarmVille still a thing? To Obama and his comrades like you, global warming is what should have us soiling our undergarments, not suicide bombers.

Admit it, leftists. You want us defenseless. Let's be real, we've known for years leftists prefer a voting constituency of victims. For without massive amounts of victims, there cannot be an all powerful, all-saving government to worship.

It's simple really: you big, leftist politicians hate self-defense for the same reasons you vilify self-reliance.

Now, to our enemies. We can speculate why Barack Obama refuses to utter the words "Islamic terrorism" all through Ramadan, but the reason for his unwillingness to identify (and subsequently engage) the enemy still results in a lack of response to terrorism. But he does he engage people with guns. The American people who have the right to keep and bear arms, we're his real enemy...because we're not a defenseless victim class.

Also, we tend to be much better groomed.

For years, leftists have hidden behind gun control lies, claiming gun control is about "reasonable" measures to keep guns out of "dangerous" hands, like background checks, limited capacity magazines, bans on scary black rifles, waiting periods, clauses about mental illness regards your mom, etc. More laws for criminals who, by definition, don't follow laws. Ironically leftists brand these measures as "common sense" gun control. Because, who could possibly disagree with common sense? It's just... common sense, right? See how that works?

Which is exactly what your mom said this morning...

But when you're being honest, you admit you want a flat out ban on guns. Exhibit A: Salon.com, the ultra-left rag (which promotes pedophilia, suggests gun owners should be shot to know how it feels), just called for the outright banning of guns. Read Liberals Now Openly Admit: 'We Must Destroy the Second Amendment.' They equated, in their title, banning guns with banning lawn darts. I poop swastica you not.

At least you can shelf the "oh we don't want to ban guns," mantra. Finally we can just be honest with our debate and continue forth with our triggering language without the false pretext.

Speaking of "trigger warnings" shouldn't that phrase be banned? Because triggers are on guns, and guns are evil? I'm starting a hashtag...

If you think Salon.com was just a fluke, here's another round in the chamber. The New York Times posted an editorial on their front page, the first time since 1920. What rung in the special occasion? Well it wasn't a call for Americans to fight Islam. It also had zero to do with the latest in, well, news. Lower your expectations. Here's everything you need to read from the much discussed editorial:

It is a moral outrage and a national disgrace that civilians can legally purchase weapons designed specifically to kill people with brutal speed and efficiency. These are weapons of war, barely modified and deliberately marketed as tools of macho vigilantism and even insurrection. America’s elected leaders offer prayers for gun victims and then, callously and without fear of consequence, reject the most basic restrictions on weapons of mass killing, as they did on Thursday. They distract us with arguments about the word terrorism. Let’s be clear: These spree killings are all, in their own ways, acts of terrorism.

Attempting to read the full article unless severely medicated would be ill-advised.

Leftists, it certainly seems like you're peeing your pants in anticipation for every tragedy...to spread vitriol about guns and the people who want them. You're attempting to beat down (as is your modus operandi) your opposition, to bully us into silence for desiring weapons with which we use to defend our homes, our property, our family and our lives. Sorry not sorry, I have more faith in the instant trigger pull of a scary black rifle than the three number dialing to 911... Also, I know what I want for Christmas. It's not my two front teeth, but it could knock yours clean out.

You want us to be entirely dependent on government for everything, including our personal defense. Heck, you don't even want us praying to God. You want us praying to government. But as we've seen these last several years of the Obama Administration, the very last item on his list is "protect Americans." Show me evidence which points to the contrary. Gun free zones are almost as dangerous as the womb of an SJW feminist. Almost.

We don't need a winning hand in this argument, we have our Constitution which doesn't grant us rights, it protects them. On the top of that list, right next to free speech, is our God-given right to self-preservation. Regardless of Hillary Clinton's tweets.

Now excuse me, I have some gun-shopping to do...

~Written by Courtney Kirchoff (she loves and names her guns) and Steven Crowder