Dear loud-mouthed morons who can’t even Google:

Congratulations, you’ve once again greased the path of least resistance with your rage-flung spittle. Originality is tough, thanks for lending your lemming-like prowess as examples. As you compete amongst yourselves for who can be the greatest dunce to walk among the living by echoing failed talking points on guns, understand you’re the actual problem. Allow me to explain.

On February 14th, a fatherless bully shot and killed 17 people in Parkland, Florida. Lest anyone be confused, one person is to blame for the actual pulling of the trigger: the Parkland Shooter. However, as we've learned more, local and federal law enforcement all played their role in failing to stop the shooting. From ample warning signs, actual credible tips to the FBI, to armed deputies actually on campus during the shooting who did nothing. Not government's finest moment. And yet, despite all the f*ck-ups, media and the left blamed... the NRA.

In 2017, in Sutherland Springs, Texas, a violent monster, who believed in no higher power other than himself, opened fire on a church, killing 26 people. With a quickness rivaling only that of diverting blame from Islam after an Islamic terrorist attack, you placed the blame for the Texas church shooting on the NRA. Despite the NRA having not even a footnote’s mention in the shooter’s life.

How tragically predictable.

You engaged in the same kind of chicanery following the Las Vegas shooting. Before the bodies had assumed room temperature, the talking points from on high disseminated through the media, like some kind of brain-rotting virus.

The faxes went something like this:

RE: Mass shooting!!! Points: blame all white men and/or the NRA. Do not, we repeat, do NOT educate yourselves on guns, gun laws, gun vernacular, or gun operation. Minor details. Stick to fear-mongering narratives by casting entire swaths of people as demonic toilet paper.

You received the marching orders and followed them with perfect obedience. Like a Labrador sitting dutifully before its master. Offering no insight, only a drool-soaked ball.

Like the Las Vegas shooting, and all other shootings before it, the NRA had as much responsibility for the shooter’s actions as Michael Moore has for the proliferation of skinny jeans. Especially on population hipster. Actually, it’s worse than that. Not the skinny jeans. Nothing is worse than skinny jean hipsters. Turns out the hero in the Sutherland Springs shooting, Stephen Willeford, was a former NRA instructor. That smell is your sacred cow on the smoker. So plot twist, the NRA did have a role in this shooting: stopping it early. Truth can sock you in the gut like a stock from a 12 gauge. That’s a shotgun, in case you were wondering.

Not that facts matter to you. They don’t matter with science, they don’t matter with guns. Which is why, despite the continuing trend of being wrong about THE NRA IS FILLED WITH SATAN’S HOBGOBLINS talking points, you engage in the mindless shrieking anyway.

Why? That one’s as obvious as Tess Holiday’s stretch marks. You hate the Second Amendment as much as sweet little Tess hates single digit sizes. And the women who wear them. The Second Amendment provides Americans with the right to not only defend themselves but to ensure their own freedom from government tyranny. The government is the almighty entity you grace wit bended knee and swift cheek kiss.

Your seething hatred for the NRA is but a poorly masked hatred for the Second Amendment and the Americans who hold it dear. How dare anyone believe the almighty government is made of anything but good intentions, pillars of intellect, and the sweet aroma of angel flatulence.

Incidentally, Hitler, too, was also a fan of gun control. So at least y'all agreed on something.

Any time a monster gets his -- in the most recent case, illegal -- hands on a gun, you pivot to blasting anyone who dares stand up for their own right to possess one. Using many ignorant talking points believable only to yourselves. And perhaps the attendants of a local pre-school.

Despite information to the contrary, which you could easily find for yourselves if you cared, guns are not “the problem.” The NRA, being an organization dedicated to maintaining Americans' right to keep and bear arms, is not the problem. High capacity magazines are not the problem. Bump stocks are not the problem. Pistol grips? Not the problem. Matte black guns. Not the problem. Semi-automatics and the availability of them to legal, law-abiding people? You guessed it, not the problem.

The problem is you: ignorant, hateful drones who cannot or will not think for themselves. Who side not with the founding documents of America, but on those who actively undermine it. You despise independence in all its forms, be that independent thought or independence from government. Rather than accepting the American way, you perpetuate hate toward people who do not fall before the government in dutiful subservience.

You are nothing but petulant, hateful whiners bent on governmental tyranny.

Americans must protect themselves from your power-hungry policies. We must constantly beat back your quest for control. We must call out your slavish devotion to tyrannical masters. We’re in a constant war to educate with facts before you can infect with lies.

You and your pathetic devotion to ignorance, anti-gun ideas, and government power are the reason for the Second Amendment. You, not the NRA, are the real threat to America.

~Written by Courtney Kirchoff

Updated February 28, 2018