Dear Oh-So-Tolerant spewers of actual hate,

What is it with you penis-lovers? Seems these days if someone isn't a cheering fan of public, flagrant sexual conduct, or if someone personally disapproves of a given sexual lifestyle, you brand that person a hater. A homophobe. You publicly shame that person for "intolerance." And of course the only reason one would be a bigot, is clearly due to one’s secret attraction to members of the same sex. So and so doesn't approve of gay orgies. Ergo, so and so is a closeted gay freak! Flawless logic, is it not? It’s one of those arguments that’s used so often we’ve become desensitized to it. Which is totally by your non-creationist design. It's polka-dotted with dildos.

The latest issue? Who can pee in which bathroom. Aside from all the extra potty jokes which will rise to the surface like a you know what, thanks to ninnies like you, where someone takes a dump is now an issue. Bravo.

You're also on the Gaystapo war path to destroy Christians. Why? Becuase they don't have gay porn on their TVs. Okay, not quite. You're targeting Christians becuase they prefer their penises go with vaginas. Those Christians who think the penis and the vagina were made for one another? In your book they're as low as Satan.

Also, please tell me again about how pro-science you are. I just love hearing lectures about SCIENCE from people who reject basic biology.

Of course the North Carolina and Mississippi controversies are nothing new. Just last year we had the hubbub in Indiana. Being forced to bake a gay wedding cakes, or photograph gay weddings, as it turns out, was simply an initial battle of the anti-tolerant, militant homosexual left. That's why we call you weiners the "Gaystapo," by the way. More on that later. You're on the march against anyone who does not conform with your perverse idea of...well, anything.

Religious liberties have been eroding like Bernie Sander's math skills. If he ever had them to begin with. But the issue of evaporating religious liberties is never discussed on an honest playing field. Why? You all can't stop yelling about FAIRNESS and EQUALITY. Or my personal favorite, HATE!

See for years, even if Christians are right, even if religious freedoms are being infringed, even if no hate is involved… anyone who is not a staunch, pro-gay-everything leftist has been labeled a “homophobe.” This is how it's been working out. Tell me if you see a problem with this logic:

• Don't support transgenderism as normal? Transphobe.
• Don’t support gay marriage on a personal level? Homophobe.
• Don't want to use the public restroom with someone of the opposite sex? Transphobe.
• Don’t want to be forced by the government to bake a gay wedding cake? Homophobe.
• Don't think transgendered people are as beautiful as everyone else? Transphobe.
• Don’t want to watch the gay pride parade where people literally have public sex on the streets? Homophobe.
• Don’t want someone else teaching your five year old about sexuality between his kindergarten milk-break and nap-time? Homophobe.
• Don’t want Kevin Jennings to teach your kids about “fisting”? Homophobe.

And what do “homophobes” and "transphobes" all have in common? Why they’re all secretly gay, don’t you know! Yes, If you criticize somebody who happens to be a homosexual, you are doing so only because you yourself, are indeed a homo. There’s no way around it. To many liberals, simply holding an opinion contrary to theirs is the equivalent to coming out of the closet. Or at the very least, they’ll imply it.

Gay and trans “progressives” touting these arguments are what reasonable members of the LGBTQ community refer to as the “Gaystapo.” Much like using the “racism” card when dealing with Barack Obama dissidents, the whole “you’re a secret-gay” argument is a way of ending the discussion before it even begins. Afterall, what kind of self-respecting, straight male would want to be accused of being a closet scientologist?

For people who claim to be tolerant of all sexualities, you leftists sure are quick to weaponize it. "Disagree with gayness and YOU'RE A FAG!"

But why, why do you move to malign your opposition so quickly? Sorry, that was a rhetorical question. I know exactly why. You want to deny anyone who disagrees with you their basic rights. It's leftism 101. People who disagree with leftism must be shut out of the discussion. See also these Democrat Attorney Generals who want to punish people who disagree with man-made climate change theory.

While you sit in your gay lounges, lecturing about how Christians are the worst for thinking men should be with women, women should be with men (biology), and don't want to participate in your pansexual, homosexual or transexual celebrations, what you're really aiming for is to strip rights. You hope to strip Christians of their religious freedom rights like you strip off those leather chaps.

Newsflash, haters. No. We won't let you. Also, these groovy dudes back in the 70s (well, 1770s) wrote this thing called the First Amendment, which states:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

First clause means: United States will not be a theocracy. Second clause: US will not stop religious people from exercising their religion. Important note here for you peeps: there's nothing in this amendment which says religious people must only be religious in their churches. There's nothing here that states people cannot be religious in their business. Also not in this clause? Whether women should use urinals if they think they're dudes. Those Founding Fathers were sure short-sighted.

Let's zip this up. You're gay. You hate that some people are not gay and disagree with the gay or trans movement. You're trying to strip those people of their rights promised them in the constitution. Why? BECAUSE ALL CAPS HATE AND STUFF. INTOLERANCE. NARROW-MINDEDNESS. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!

This makes you an epic turd. You are the definition of intolerance. You embody hate. You see someone with a traditional lifestyle, and rather than taking your business elsewhere, rather than going on with your gay or trans life, you attack them. You harass them. You force your will, your way of life upon them. "Tolerance" isn't enough for you. You want full compliance, full acceptance or HATE BE UPON THOSE WHO DISAGREE.

You are the gaystapo bullies who seek to purge the world of anyone who disagrees, even politely, with your lifestyle. You deserve none of our sympathy. You deserve none of our tolerance.

Written by Steven Crowder and Courtney Kirchoff