Dear leftists in Hollywood intent on pushing incessant gayness, even when unnecessary and irrelevant,

Today it seems Hollywood's primary mission, especially television, is to shove gayness into wherever it may fit. It's getting tired. Namely because it's being pushed by a tiny minority of militant gay activists in the gay community. I want to make this crystal clear. I'm not suggesting ALL gays are pushing for all gay characters in all TV shows or movies. I contend like with most issues in our political climate, the "Gay Agenda" in TV is being shoved by a fraction of a percent of the gay population. They're members of the Gaystapo. Small in numbers, shrill in voice. As stated before, the Gaystapo, and now the Hollywood Gay Agenda Pushers DO NOT represent millions of gay people who just want to live their lives in peace. Okay? Okay.

The thing is, there seems to be a gay storyline in every modern TV show out there. The one and only modern show I can think of without any uber-gay plot line? Breaking Bad. I've watched the show three times. Didn't see any gayness. But every other show I've seen? Somehow it always manages to slip in.

Am I saying gays should have no representation in television or movies? Of course not. But Hollywood knows it can shape pop culture and perceptions. Which is exactly what it is doing by portraying a disproportionate amount of characters as LGBTQAIP (silent F). Contrary to what you push on TV, homosexuals make up about 3.4 percent of the population, but make up 14 percent of films released in 2014. Yet they still complain about being under-represented. How the gayness is depicted I'll address later, but the result of vastly over-representing the gay population has led to the conclusion you aimed to draw. Most Americans believe the gay population is much greater than 3.4 percent. Americans believe the gay population is 23 percent or more, as shown in recent Gallup polling:

That's quite a jump. Or maybe I should say to you, "Mission accomplished."

Here's the deal, though, Hollywood. I like to be entertained. I enjoy movies. I love a good television show. In fact I recently discovered Orphan Black. Guess what? Two gay main characters, a few minor gay characters who casually hook up with the main gay characters; one minor transgender character. Looking at the numbers above, that's a huge over-represenation. So over the top that Liberace himself would deem it excessive.

That's one of my biggest beefs with this gayness. I'm not averse to inserting ideas into stories. I'm not opposed to having a gay character. But to continually push additional gayness with such overabundance gets distracting from the story. WE GET IT!

It's getting worse: straight character appropriation. It's happening. Yes, there's now a movement in the left, which I'm sure will reach y'all in Hollywood, to make existing heterosexual characters into homosexual ones. A writer in Vanity Fair lamented that Captain America was not gay with Bucky. Why? Because apparently men can no longer be just friends. You militant Hollywood Gay Agenda Pushers seek to turn healthy male friendships into closeted gayness. As if all people are secretly gay, they just need to meet the right person to be gay with. Then and only then, can they truly blossom into a gay butterfly, in all their gayness.

It's even been suggested that James Bond should be gay. James Bond. Gay. Think about that for a second. James Bond is a serial womanizer. He loves the ladies. The ladies love him. But we're living in a culture where people feel comfortable suggesting a character like James Bond should be gay without being laughed at.

But in trying to appropriate straight characters, what the social-engineering left is attempting is to redefine what it means to be masculine and feminine. James Bond, a heterosexual hero of men, turned gay? Captain Freaking America turned gay?

That's so... gay.

Why make an existing straight character into a gay one? I see it as more than just a way to push gayness. It's also seeking to destroy traditional masculinity. Men love women. Women love men.

Have we reached a time in our culture where being straight is scandalous, where insisting we're not sexually fluid will be seen as backwards hate speech?

Maybe I'm paranoid, but it seems we're getting close, especially in how gay characters are portrayed: healthy, loving, never abusive toward each other. Even though physical abuse in homosexual relationships is sky high. Particularly among Lesbians. No, no, you Hollywood social engineers are intent on portraying GAY as HEALTHY. Which is doing a great disservice to the rampant domestic violence in the gay community.

So a favor, please. Can we go back to just being entertained? Can't we cut it out with the man on man love, displayed graphically? I know even suggesting such a thing makes me a hateful homophobe, but wouldn't it be lovely if you folks in the entertainment industry could focus on you know... entertaining us?

Written by Courtney Kirchoff, with gay joke help from Steven Crowder