Dear loud, proud, out and closeted,

Arm yourselves. Scrap the equal sign bumpersticker. Replace it with the silhouette of a .357 magnum. Trade in the assless chaps for jeans which will accommodate an IWB (inside the waistband) holster. Adjust your penis jokes accordingly.

Because here's the thing: the worst thing most Christians do to gays? Not bake wedding cakes (then are sued for it). Maybe they make fun of you behind your back. In rare instances, we're making fun of you to your face. Yes, I make penis jokes. I make lesbian fat jokes. I occasionally make childish ad-hominem attacks. I also don't hate you. I make no apologies. I'm an equal opportunity offender. Deal with it.

Muslims kill you en masse. They hang you. They stone you. They shoot you.

A segment of the gay population, magnified by the leftist media, has called a Christian baker's refusal to make gay wedding cakes as "hate." A Muslim in Orlando killed 50 of your community.

One of these things is not like the other.

Here's the scary thing, my cheering queers, more of these people like Omar are incoming. Your left-leaning government "friends" like Obama and Under FBI Investigation Hillary Clinton, are allowing migrants from Islamic countries like Syria, Afghanistan and elsewhere into the country virtually unchecked. It's a party of explosive proportions. Like the Folsom street parade... If you replaced the dildos with dynamite. The leather vests with suicide vests. The shock collars for decapitation. Wave the limp wrist, get it hacked off.

Before you accuse me of fear-mongering, don't. We have countless polls and evidence proving Sharia law has but one "cure" for homosexuality: death.

But by all means, sue us over cakes.

I would love to be wrong about this one. But rather than calling the Orlando Shooting an Islamic terrorist attack (applauded by ISIS), Obama targeted the scary tool used to perpetrate the heinous crime, in hopes of advancing an agenda. The leftist media, in order to support King Obama's wishes, has pivoted fast to blaming Christians and the NRA. Blaming the NRA. It's so hot right now. Neither Obama nor the media have dared acknowledge the true motive of the killer: Islam hates gays.

Which is why I say again: arm yourselves. Now.

You may believe the LGBT community sits high on the leftist priority list. You're not wrong. The left loves how your fringe, vocal members undermine tradition, breakdown sexual norms and destroy poor Christian bakers. But there's a hierarchy to this. While you're no doubt perched atop the physical pole, Islamists finds themselves positioned above you on that of the figurative totem. Penis joke. Because gay. Anyway, that "victimized class" is Islam.

Don't believe me? I understand how you wouldn't take me, a Christian, at my word when I say the left prefers Islam over Gayism (new word). Fortunately I have proof with which to bolster my assertion. Behold, a list:

1. Orlando Imam on Gays: 'Death is the Sentence...'
2. Sweden Now Condemns Gay March as Racist... Against Muslims?!
3. Saudi Arabia Blames Social Media for Rising Homosexuality. Solution? Execute the Gays...
4. Tolerance! Over 50 Muslim Countries Blocking LGBT Groups from UN AIDS Convention
5. Bangladesh: US Embassy Employee Brutally Murdered...For Being Gay
6. Surprise! Ex-Muslim Says 'Islam is incompatible with the values of human rights'...
7. 'Moderate' Islamists Admit: 'Radical' Islam IS Islam

At best the left turns a blind eye to the treatment of gays in Islam. At worst, the left excuses it or covers it up. In Sweden's case, the left appeases it. Why? Both the left and Islam hate freedom, Western culture, progress. We can delve deeper into that subject in another column.

Are you researching guns yet?

Allow me a paragraph to get a little mushy on you. Christians disagree with your lifestyle. Many don't want your thrusting pelvises in our faces. Many don't want to be forced by the government to accept and serve your lifestyle. That's not entirely unreasonable. But if you want to bump and grind in a club, I have some surprising news for you: none of us care. If you want to be gay, do it. Be the gayest gay you can be. Gyrate. Thrust. Join your Liza Minelli fan club. We. Do. Not. Care.

Try this one: Andrew Klavan recently made a wonderful point in a podcast. Americans in the heterosexual and homosexual community are a family. That family is America. We're quarreling. We're arguing.

Islam's cure is not a fevered discussion. Heck, it's not even a lawsuit. Islam's "cure" to homosexuality is death. They hate you for being gay as much (or more) than they hate Christians for loving Jesus Christ. Which means the LGBTQAAIP (silent F) and Christians have something in common: Islam is our mutual enemy. Yes, ENEMY. They want to destroy us for our way of life. The American way of life.

Do not rely on the left to protect you. They value the freedom-hating Islam more than they value you. You're witnessing it.

So arm up. Get guns. Buy ammo in bulk. Throw some glittery decals on your AK-47. Buy some rainbow stickers for your 30 round AR-15 magazines. Bedazzle that holster. Upcycle your used brass into fancy collars for your weird role-playing that I probably just invented for you. Whatever. But protect yourselves. Gun owners, Christians, gun-owning Christians, we want you to be protected. We want you armed. We want you safe.

Here's a cake for you.

Happy Hunting.

Written by Courtney Kirchoff