Dear holier than thou leftists,

I get it. You just can't pass up the chance to insert yourself into the immigration discussion whenever the opportunity arises. Or suits you. Or when you're bored. It's standard leftist procedure to say things like "there are no illegal human beings." Cute. Someone call Hallmark, we've found their new star player.

Bleeding hearts everywhere wield that phrase like a tomahawk. A tomahawk of tolerance, obviously. Not racist. You gals keep that tomahawk at the ready to toss. It's almost as much of a right of passage for modern leftists as The Great Pilgrimage to a Bernie Sanders rally. I say gals because if you're male and you support Bernie... you've been stripped of your title. But hey, that pesky male-privelege was oppressive anyway. If you, as a leftist, can virtue-signal and attend a Bernie rally? You've fulfilled your duty as an SJW leftist. Hug yourself.

Okay, here's the problem, though. What possible reason could you have to insist we be a borderless nation? Also, how is it hateful to want borders? It's always head-scratcher. Because guess who disagrees with you on this whole border-security thing? Every nation. In the history of ever. They have all had some form of borders. And if they didn't, they're not around anymore. Puny countries lacking in security go away quickly.

Don't believe me? Just take a look-see at Europe. They tossed caution to the wind and embraced a freewheeling, devil-may-care attitude about immigration. For the feels. For the welcomes. For the vegan brownie-points of love. They opened the borders to those poor, put-upon, mostly military-aged, male "refugees." What did that get them? Lots of free hugsrape, assault, riots, and more rape. Their people are getting so desperate that some are even considering trading in their EU status for... Surprise! More security for their borders. Haters, right? And racists. Racist, European haters.

Aaand this is about where you folks like to pull the race card. For some reason, every time we talk about immigration, you assume conservatives want to keep brown people out. Primarily those hailing from Mexico.

So let's talk about that. The legal process to citizenship favors no race. As a matter of fact, if the US had simply taken its immigration process seriously from the get-go, Mexicans wouldn't feel as though they've been unfairly targeted. Allow me to explain...

If there were a physical border wall, Mexicans would simply find themselves in the same boat truck as immigrants from any other country trying to get through customs. Black, white, brown, or transexual. Is that a penis, or are you just really happy to be in the USA?

It's not a trick question. It's most definitely a penis.

Sure, Mexicans enjoy a geographical advantage over the rest. In fact I see a hashtag there. #GeographicalPrivilege. Of all nationalities, Mexicans have the easiest time illegally immigrating into the United States. They're taking advantage of our porous border security. The Mexican-American border is a security issue. Just because many people exploit it, that still doesn't mean Americans have any more disdain for Mexicans than the guy who zipped through the Atlantic and "let" his work visa expire. They're all jackass line-cutters and should be disliked accordingly.

While we're on the subject, we all know how much you big squishy-hearted leftists hate big business. Ironically enough, you don't see that the policy of mass immigration benefits corporations at the expense of those poorer, naturalized US citizens at the bottom. Instead you chant "Americans won't do those jobs," so you can hire cheap labor for yourselves. See Kelly Osbourne Defends Illegal Immigrants by Being SUPER Racist... Got that leftists? You completely ignore the love affair between big business and big government... while claiming to despise big business! Sort of like how Hillary ignored Bill's "affairs." But with less rape. Significantly less rape.

Massive corporations send their lobbyists to push amnesty and soft border laws circumventing the American worker in order to hire someone cheaper. And illegal. What we're talking about here isn't capitalism. It's corporatism. That's why small business owners are mostly conservative capitalists -- they don't stand to gain anything from the government playing favorites. In fact quite the opposite. It's the leftists, the Democrats and the Social Justice Warriors who create and want to protect the never-ending illegal immigration cycle that benefits big, corrupt business!

You've been played like a newly strung fiddle. Uncle Sam doesn't punish corporations for profiting off cheap illegal labor. No, no, Uncle Sam rewards them with cheap labor. That means Americans lose out on American jobs. But so long as big business and big government keep peddling illegal immigration as a racist issue, you dummies will buy it wholesale. And probably not from your local farmer's markets. No, you'll buy it from Costco or Wal-Mart.

Hell, you'll willingly lay out the red carpet and herald corporate leaders as gods. So long as they support "progressive" values. Meanwhile, who's getting piped? You, me, and the legal immigrants. At least you'll still have your "tolerance" in the unemployment line.

And before you blame greedy capitalism, don't. Stop pointing the finger at capitalism. It's big government crooks who got us here. More commonly known as "Democrats." You should know, you elected them. Democrats are looking to buy cheap votes... Even if said votes come from illegal immigrants who don't even have the American workers' best interest at heart. In return, the illegals get absolved of their crime of being illegal in the USA. See how that works? I scratch your back, you scratch off the law.

Democrats and illegals maintain a symbiotic relationship. Unfortunately for us, that relationship is parasitic to its host; our country. For instance, the Census Bureau includes illegals in the population count. That ends up determining the amount of electoral votes allotted to each state. So guess who gets an undeserved amount of influence on our elections? People who broke the law to be here. Here's looking at you, California.

Listen, it's, shall we say...problematic to accuse Americans in support of borders as racist. You're also implying that all countries who have ever erected borders are racist, too. Which subsequently implies that all the legal immigrants in the US are racist as well. Except nobody is proposing laws that discriminate against any specific race. So that's terribly embarrassing for you. It's also taken a great deal of our time having to set you morons straight with an open letter like this. Unlike Kelly Osbourne, we have to clean our own toilets. Thank God however, unlike Kelly Osbourne... we don't have to clean Kelly Osbourne's toilet.

Liberals, before you tar and feather the majority of this country as "bigoted" or "discriminatory," you may want to grab a dictionary. Also a history book. Do a little research... because Americans have. In trying to buy a voting block, you could just lose another one. But don't worry about what I say. After all, I'm just a racist. Along with every other legal immigrant here.

Co-written by Steven Crowder & Courtney Kirchoff.

Because TEAMWORK!