Dear Pope Francis and the Vatican staff with its own security system...

How's life in the Vatican treating you these days? I have to admit, I've never actually been there, but I hear it's a pretty sweet place. Filled with history, priceless art, and home of course to El Papa. The Vatican is on my list of places I must go before I die, not just because of the Catholic thing, but because I love to behold beauty. Don't we all? The human capacity to create, understand and marvel beauty is one reason the Church has embraced it in its churches. In the presence of beautiful things, we're filled with awe. So, I get it. Really, I do.

Also, it's Courtney again, not Steven Crowder. Last I wrote y'all it was specifically to Pope Francis, addressing how he had zero business opining on climate change. Well I'm back, and I'm here to talk about illegal immigration and how you have just as much business lecturing on illegal immigration as you have telling a carpenter how to sharpen his tools. Shameless throwback to Jesus there. Not sorry.

Before I continue on, a quick word to my fellow Catholics: like my first open letter to El Papa, this is not a letter of apologetics where I dispel myths surrounding the church. On that subject, if you're a non-Catholic and wondering why Catholics even have a Pope, a Vatican, etc...that's what Google is for. Go use it for the power of knowledge. Okay? Okay.

Sorry, people who speak on behalf of the Pontiff/Vatican, I had to write those disclaimers. You now have my full attention.

Donald Trump has built his campaign on the problems of illegal immigration, specifically coming from Mexico. He's not been wrong. There are many areas where I disagree with Donald Trump, but he's right about illegal immigration from Mexico. It's a problem. A yuge one. Who'd have guessed I'd have to side with Donald Trump over the Vatican? I know, I know, but stay with me here...

Donald Trump said of Pope Francis' visit to Mexico that Francis didn't understand "the danger of the open border we have with Mexico." Which, based on what I've seen and heard from Pope Francis, is actually pretty accurate. How dare you make me say Trump is right. How. Dare. You.

So you, the Vatican, trotted out spokesperson Reverend Federico Lombardi to issue the following statement to a presidential candidate about his words on illegal immigration:

“The pope always talks about migration problems all around the world, of the duties we have to solve these problems in a humane manner, of hosting those who come from other countries in search of a life of dignity and peace.”

Pope Francis touched on the issue of immigration during his speech to Congress in September. He pleaded with lawmakers not to be “fearful of foreigners” and reminded them that many of them are “descended from immigrants.”

See, here's where I have a problem. There are plenty of topics to address when it comes to Donald Trump and/or the American political system. I addressed those in my previous letter to Pope Francis. The Church absolutely has the moral authority to address abortion, euthanasia, homosexuality, matters of the faith, and yes, human suffering. If the Vatican wanted to address Trump, perhaps you should've addressed his comments on abortion. Or his misunderstanding of Two Corinthians, a joke that keeps on giving.

But see, the Church has no authority to address matters of national security when it comes to securing its border. Which you understand completely, as the Vatican itself has a secure border, does it not? Are there not armed guards at its gates? Is there not a giant wall on its perimeter? Are not your beautiful precious artifacts secure as secure can be? The answer to all of the above is a Vatican wall-sized YES.

That's a freaking huge wall, bro.

Guess what? I have no problem with you protecting your personal safety or your property (including all the super sweet bling/art casually/opportunistically mentioned in the opening of this letter) with walls, security and armed guards. Why? Because there is nothing immoral or unchristian about protecting yourself. Or your stuff. Nothing at all. We have a duty, in fact, to protect the health and bodies God has given us. But when you start lecturing the rest of the first world to toss out their nation's sovereignty and safety for the sake of taking in migrants? Red alert, I have a problem.

First, you tear down your wall before lecturing us not to erect one. What are you afraid of? People harming your bodies and stealing your stuff? That's xenophobic.

Second, a nation must protect its citizenry... from enemies, foreign and domestic. That usually includes securing the border. In fact, border security is pretty basic in protecting anything. But, as I said, you already know that. See giant wall photoed above.

Look, Jesus was never POTUS, so we can't really flip to that book of the Bible for the "What would Jesus Do" about the migrants coming across the border for a better life. But I doubt He would've said "Blessed are nations which crap on its border security." Or "Amen, amen I say to you, open your house to complete strangers who might rape and pillage you."

Here's the thing, not all these migrants are fleeing their crappy countries for a better life. Plenty of those immigrants are criminals who rape, murder, and steal. Pretty sure the Bible has some things to say about that stuff. Some "migrants" are even terrorists. There's nothing Christian about taking in people who seek to do harm. See above section about Jesus not talking about terrorists.

What the Church is doing via Francis with this First World Countries Must Take The Poor Migrant thing is two fold:

1. Pathetic pandering to an entire nation of Catholics for a public relations win, which plays right into Obama's back pocket. Obama, by the way, has zero respect for the Catholic Church, religious freedom, or the dignity of the unborn.
2. Ignores the gross human injustices perpetuated BY THE GOVERNMENTS THESE PEOPLE ARE FLEEING!

Seriously, Vatican, if you want to be brave, if you want to address human suffering, go to the source. If the Vatican is so concerned with poor people, if it's so concerned for migrants, here's a novel idea: prevent the migrants from being migrants in the first place. Hit the source of the human suffering. Address the real issues which are causing these people to flee their homes for a foreign land. I don't know why this is so hard for y'all to grasp. The church has made it clear where it stands on abortion, the solution of which is to have a healthy respect for human life. And to stop killing babies. Maybe it's simplistic of me, but why can't the same methodology be applied for migrants? Lecture their governments to foster a culture which respects the dignity of the human person, so their people needn't flee their countries in the first place.

Of course lecturing corrupt governments and leaders is tough talk, isn't it? Ending government corruption, or communism (which fosters poverty) isn't as easy as telling the United States, a historically civil civilization, to suck it up buttercup and accept these migrants into the welfare system.

Also, sidenote. Guess which country has stricter immigration policies: Mexico or the USA. I'll give you three guesses, that's how nice I am. Okay, your time is up. Did you guess the USA? If so, get out.

Yeah, it's actually Mexico. Yet another reason to lecture them. Until then, I'm not going to take a single thing you say about illegal immigration seriously. Not that I ever did before, but now I'm going to take it less seriously. You've been warned.

So Vatican, do us all a favor? Stick to the issues you have the moral authority to address. There are plenty of them.

Peace by with you,

Written by Courtney Kirchoff