Dear spineless, "pro-choice Christians,"

Stop. No seriously, stop. Take a moment to analyze yourself; because if you've made it this far, you either don't understand what you claim to believe, or you're lying. There is no "door number three." In one hand you clutch "abortion" and in the other, "Christianity". You can only hold onto one. I bet that sounds awfully judgmental of me, which, to you weak saps, is the cardinal sin of all cardinal sins. After all, that's probably why you're a pro-choice Christian.

Odds are, you care more about what other people think of you than maintaining any kind of moral consistency. That's why you refuse to back them. That would require something commonly referred to as "backbone." You're so afraid of being labeled as 'close-minded' that you're willing to throw away your values, or at least admit that they're not that important.

I'm not pulling this out of my rear end. Although that would be a cool magic trick. I am, unfortunately, well acquainted with you pro-baby-killer folk. I could go on an eternal diatribe slamming pro-choice "Christians". But to avoid making any assumptions, I'll refer to the words of the abysmal article found in The Guardian that inspired this column.

I am a Christian - but I am also a feminist. I am more drawn to libertarians than traditional conservatives because I believe in the right to freedom, be it religious or otherwise. Just as I wouldn't want to live according to other people's religious laws, no one should be bound to my Christian beliefs... For example, I am pro-choice, but I am also pro-life. I would never choose to get an abortion myself, but I would also never impose my morals on someone else, especially of a different faith.

Yes, allow me to repeat your own, borderline-functionally retarded words back to you. "I am pro-choice, but I am also pro-life"...

"I believe in the right to freedom..." Let's be honest here, because that's the Christian thing to do. You believe in a person's 'right' to physically (whether a surgical vacuum or back alley hanger, it's all the same) infringe on another being's basic human right to life. To be as clear as possible, the last thing you believe in is freedom.

"Just as I wouldn't want to live according to other people's religious laws, no one should be bound to my Christian beliefs." I get it. People shouldn't be forced to go to church on Sunday. We all like sleeping in. Also, people should be allowed to rape, murder, and pillage. Just because I believe it's wrong, doesn't mean they should be bound to my beliefs. Right?

Christians believe that life begins in the womb. Don't take my word for it. Behold, straight from the man upstairs.

Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you. - Jeremiah 1:4-5

If you're a Christian as you claim, there is no possible justification for abortion. Here's a day old argument that still proves to be true: imagine I claimed to be an advocate of equal rights for all, while simultaneously saying "hey, what you do in the privacy of your home is your business, not mine. If you want to own slaves, fine. I would never do it. I believe in civil rights. But it's not my place to tell you what to do. Only God can judge. After all, religion and politics shouldn't mix anyhow." If I said that to Martin Luther King Jr himself, he'd laugh at me. And probably go from peaceful protester to violent Black Panther in no time flat.

The United States is not a Christian nation and I think it is wholly un-Christian to force your views onto someone else.

People who say things like this don't understand separation of church and state. Separation of church and state does not = separation of beliefs and policy. Stop doing that. That's not how that works. It is, in fact, impossible. Unless you're a sociopath, in which case, you've got bigger issues. Either way, you're wrong. And possibly a sociopath. You're a wrong sociopath.

Why do you "progressive Christians" moronically insist on painting our faith as an oppressive force in which people have no say? We're not Muslims. All religion is, is your interpretation and interaction with the world. Everyone holds a worldview whether they want to believe it or not, and if you claim the mantle of Christianity, you're held to the measure of believing in an objective truth. You see, morality isn't a personal preference. It isn't a flavor of ice cream. You can't say you're a vanilla kind of guy, but murder should still be on the menu.

Either you value human life or you don't. Either you believe what you say, or you don't. That's why if you profess to be a Christian while also claiming to be pro-choice, you're neither of those. You are however, an idiot. It's not about "forcing" everyone to think the same way you do. It's about protecting innocent lives, because that's something we Christians believe in.

Christians. SJW leftists need not apply.

Co-written by Steven Crowder and Kacie Burnett. Send them your hate mail and they'll be sure not to care.