Dear weak pathetic women who claim to hate the patriarchy but who flock to go see it,

I was watching the snooze-fest that is the latest Bond-film and had a realization. According to the modern SJW, college-activist definition of "rape," James Bond is a serial offender. A sex symbol for the better part of half a century, edgy, dangerous James Bond has always been one to take control of the sexual reins. Horrifying, if you think about it (if by "you" we mean "feminist").

Yet James Bond is only sexy, because women deem him sexy. Shocker, I know, but according to women with eyes and a half-beating heart, leading men who take charge are hot. Because every time it's put to a monetary vote, strong men who take charge and lead, yes even men who take charge and lead women, rake in millions of dollars at the box office, rake in millions of dollars in book sales, and cause women to throw themselves at said stud muffins on the red carpet.

In today's modern day "rape culture" and "anti-patriarchy activism" the go-to leading man and general money-making machine is still none other... than womanizing James Bond. Which doesn't make sense. If we're all hot and bothered as a society about "toxic masculinity" why does a British import who pins his women to glass kissing them with ardent passion before he literally drags them into the bedroom, not thrown overboard into a sea of blue arm-pit-haired feminists, and then devoured alive?

Because patriarchy is sexy. The key here, is that "patriarchy" is only sexy because women have deemed it so. They're called "leading men" for a reason. Either because women like men who lead, or "man who asks for consent at every phase of possible intimate encounter" just wouldn't fit on the character breakdowns. Hollywood wouldn't dare make films with leading man after leading man if it didn't sell, and truly popular leading men are created by women. Women who vote with their movie-going dollar. Women who like men who lead. Strong men who scowl. Strong men who take charge. Strong men who take women with desire.

Listening to feminists, you'd think I just outlined a rape fantasy.

What makes romance sexy, what makes James Bond sexy is exactly what SJW feminist are warring against: the natural, healthy sexual dynamics between men and women. Here's Bond – a man who in reality would be riddled with STDs and gross HR infractions – not only taking charge, but grabbing his women and having his way with them, with the consenting woman not replying a simple "yes, I consent" (which is as unromantic as your brother staying over to watch) but snapping back with sarcasm and wit. Women who often have no interest in Bond. Women who want to be pursued. Women who are sexy, yes, but use their minds.

Every time it's tried, masculinity in its purest form, is box office and book-selling gold. Women love strong men. And the feminists hate it.

A handsome man in a suit... the feminists worst nightmare...

Because, despite their best and hardest efforts to make masculinity toxic, women cannot help themselves. They're naturally wired to respect the strength and virility of their men. Feminists, you can leave your gender-fluid androgyny at home. Real women aren't buying it.

Co-written by Courtney Kirhoff and Steven Crowder