"Equality" is the holy grail of the left, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... before the rainbow is torn down and sewn into an exclusionary hate flag. Well, maybe the pot isn't filled with gold so much as gold wands with which to spread the wealth. Maybe it's a pot of brown rice, or birth control pills. Yeah, birth control pills. Liberals love those. And condoms. Okay, so "equality" is the pot of birth control pills and condoms at the end of the LGBTLGBTQ LGBTQAI flag.

With the rise of old-timer Bernie Sanders, "income inequality" is making its meme-ish comeback. Shared, liked, and tweeted by the young and gullible masses, Bernie's striking a chord. No, at first I didn't get it either. "Income inequality" was previously touted by John Edwards, who's also known for spending hundreds of dollars on a haircut, while simultaneously removing designer tags from his uber-expensive suits and replacing them with fake "JC Penney" labels. John Edwards, he's just like you. Given Bernie Sander's white fly-aways, it's probably safe to assume he's using SuperCuts. No offense to SuperCuts. The mad-scientist look is so hot right now.

"Income Inequality" is the broad idea that it's unfair for a nation to have a wide income gap--for rich people to be rich and poor people to be poor. The wider the gap between the rich and the poor, the more unequal it is. If this principle were applied to hair styles, Hugh Jackman would be on one end, Bernie Sanders on the other. That's Hair Inequality, and the struggle is real. Check your privilege, Jackman. You cis-gender, ass.

Those who preach income inequality do so with the loftiest of intentions but the most misguided of assumptions, along with absolute ignorance of economics, public policy, and in general, the workings of the world. That, of course, isn't supposed to matter. They pave their roads and bridges with good intentions, memes and rhyming chants at rallies. One favorite meme of the income inequalisists (new word), is this one:

Which puts the big bad USA at 93rd, after China, Iran and India. This meme says everything that the left believes about income inequality, so it's convenient for me to tear it apart. If only I could find a way to monetize the tearing up of its parts...I'll put a call into Cecile Richards over at Planned Parenthood. She's got this down pat.

Pop quiz: What do China, Iran and India all have in common? If you answered: "Everyone there is poor," step away from the computer, find a reflective surface, and praise yourself with affirmations. You're smarter than everyone tweeting, sharing, and liking this meme all over the internet. Feels good, doesn't it? Probably how Hugh Jackman feels knowing his hair is better than everyone everywhere all the time. Privileged jerk.

If you answered "China, Iran and India are great, fair nations and bastions of equality," step away from the computer... and harm yourself. Physically harm yourself. You're an idiot and a danger to others.

China, Iran and India are poor nations. China is communist, where if you're conceived as a girl, you might be killed in the womb. For being a girl. No pink or yellow (gender neutral) balloons at that baby shower. Ironically and entirely predictably, communist countries, like China, boast the greatest gap in income inequality. So there's that.

In Iran if you use satire and/or you're a woman, you may get thrown in prison. Oh, and income inequality is pretty bad there, too. Also, gays get thrown off of buildings. So there's that.

No, India isn't boasting great wealth numbers either. They're also a poor nation with a high income inequality gap. Sorry, meme-makers.

See in all of these countries, people equally live in squalor. People equally have their human rights trampled on a regular basis. People equally starve to death. People equally live hopelessly in misery, with the glimmering fantasy of freedom always beyond their grasp. You, on the other hand, have the same smartphone as Simon Cowell, and likely drive a 2008 or newer automobile to and from your air-conditioned home, equipped with internet and cable television.

Yes, all this in the United States even if you live below the "poverty line."

All this to say that the real aim of people who champion income inequality, the real political motive is for everyone to be equally...poor. How do I know? Because nobody on the left has anything even close to resembling a plan that would guarantee equality in prosperity.

How is that so? Well, if you were to tax 100% of all income (that's every single dime) over $1Million... you'd still only fund the United States government for about four months. And that's only if they buttoned up and kept a tight budget.

Overtly socialist policies like the ones Bernie Sanders proposes are incapable of creating wealth. It's not possible. The left can only promote policies that make everyone poorer. Because misery loves company. Hey, at least we have subsidized condoms...