In case you're unaware, Ben Shapiro was recently named People Magazine's Hulkiest Man Alive. Credit the honor to Shapiro's mammoth frame, cavernous voice, and proclivity to rip arms from sockets. Not unlike a Wookiee when he loses. So it comes as no surprise that DePaul University had not one, but 30 security officers standing by to prevent this titan of violence from stepping one clawed toe on their civilized campus. Shapiro's ruthless designs? To educate students on how to best wage biological warfare against their foes.

Nah, he just wanted to talk about free speech.

Usually I time-stamp videos to get to the juicy bits. This time I wanted to let Shapiro have his moment. Also so you could see just how frightening a presence he really is. Did you see that strut? Who the f**k does this guy think he is? AN AMERICAN with RIGHTS? HOW DARE HE.

From The Daily Wire:

When Shapiro is first stopped by those on campus from entering the lecture hall, Shapiro informs security that he has RSVPed as a speaker, as an audience member and as a security member.

He is then directed to some 30 security guards, though no protesters are in sight. He was denied entry.

"I'm wondering why is it so necessary to keep me personally out?" asks Shapiro.

"The bottom line is, it's private property," says a security guard, informing Shapiro that he will be arrested if he takes three more steps forward on campus.

"Just to be clear, if I attempt to enter that hall right there, and sit down, just to listen to somebody speak, or if I attempt to ask a question, or engage in free speech, you will have me arrested?"

"At this point, yes, sir."

Of course my favorite part is where Shapiro takes a barbed-wire bat to the security guard's head, smashing his skull with such force an eyeball pops out. After which Shapiro cut the face off the security guard, then wore it into DePaul as a sort of camouflage. I hear once he got into the auditorium where the students sat waiting with baited breath to learn about concocting chemical weapons, Shapiro whipped out his formerly concealed flame thrower and burned them all alive.

Actually I liked where Shapiro noted Chicago has some 4,000 shootings to this date and "30 security members for a five-foot-nine, 165-pound Jewish guy."

Hopefully DePaul's honorable centurions went home and clutched their loved ones to their heaving man breasts. They came THAT close to losing their lives at the dreadful hands of the Terrible Shapiro Beast of the Black Lagoon of Death and Fire. Can you imagine the carnage had Shapiro been allowed to set foot on campus and, like, utter words? THE HUMANITY.

Thankfully no blood was spilled. But a larger point was made. If your views conflict with that of a university, a place which allegedly promotes the "free exchange of ideas," you shall be banned, shunned, taken out back and whipped. Unless the entire event is caught on camera, that is. Because cameras have a way of capturing truth, exposing real intolerance where it hides. In this case at a "Catholic" university, so scared of a gargantuan Jewish conservative, they banned him from campus. Well done, guys.

Students of DePaul, don't go the way of Mizzou. The first step to action is awareness. That your University is attempting to silent dissent, so it may turn you into overly-sensitive powder puff snowflakes. To be devoured by the real world.

Speaking of college campuses as breeding grounds of precious snowflakes...

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