In March, government told you to shutdown for 15 days to flatten the curve. In December, here we all are, pining for a life of basic normalcy. Congress's answer to your sacrifice was to throw you a $600 check and call it "relief." Never have I see so much unity between Democrats and Republicans than when we came together to ask a collective "WTF?" In agreement, President Donald Trump. Not only did The Donald scoff at the 600 smackers, he went so far as to highlight what other piles of garbage the bill contains. You'll get angry watching this, but that's the point.

The kind of crap that's in the "COVID Relief Bill" is feces like funding gender programs abroad. Why? Good question. Ask more of them. There's no such thing as asking enough questions when it comes to government spending. If I get a fact-check on that, fine. I'll take the penalty.

Here's another fun fact. Stretch Face Nancy had the shriveled crotch danglies to say this:

That tweet is actually three. Let's hold hands and work through it together.

1. Pelosi blaming Trump for not specifying how many gold coins to chuck at the people is so rich I need my foot amputated from the gout. We're supposed to believe that if Trumpkins asked Nance for five grand, she'd happily dance to the treasury? Okay then.
2. $2,000 is better than $600, I agree. Basic math. But hear me out for a second. How about no less than $20,000? If we're throwing money at the problem, throw piles.
3. How's about we source some of that extra cash from the litany of FOREIGN DONATIONS and PET PORK PROJECTS listed in the tweet above from Alana? I call it "priorities." Make it go viral.
4. When, WHEN, will enough Americans realize government is not the solution but the problem?