America has been celebrating Dylan Mulvaney's miraculous feat of being a real girl for 365 days. Being a girl for a whole year is a cause for a party. When my nieces both celebrated 365 days of girlhood, we had a bouncy house, a clown, and a smashcake. To celebrate Dylan, businesses desperate for an ESG boost are making Dylan the official spokesdylan of their products. Most notably, Bud Light.

Not everyone feels this marketing decision is as beautiful and brave as the media. There are women who have celebrated girlhood a lot longer than Dylan wanting to know where their endorsement deals are. This woman probably isn't drinking any Bud Lights these days, But 12,065 days are quite the accomplishment.

At 12,620 days, she looks like she should at the very least get the VIP package for a Kid Rock concert.

At 15,530, this woman -- like Dylan -- has had surgeries to accent her womanhood. Though they sound more life or death than cosmetic.

At 18,155 days, this woman too.

And coming in at 20,756 days, this woman has more in common with Dylan than the others. But not much in common.

It's odd though, as Bud Light destroys their brand. If the VP of Marketing wanted to appeal more to women, instead of hiring a man who performs in titface as a woman, there are other women with tons more experience in womanhood who could have done the job as well.

That is if Bud Light's plan was to better appeal to women.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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