C'mon Shady, you used to be better than this.

Desperate for any attention, Eminem is doing what any celebrity has-been does: base his entire marketing plan on Donald Trump telling him he's pretty (see Eminem Raps ‘F*ck You’ at Trump Supporters in Anti-Trump Rant and Eminem is Super Sad Donald Trump Won’t Pay Attention to Him). Alas, Trump hasn't even said Eminem is a "loser." Nor has Trump said 8 Mile was overrated. Truthfully. Trump has stayed uncharacteristically silent on Eminem. Leaving the rapper to basically beg for attention.

It’s not so much about him hearing something I have to say, because there’s nothing I’m saying about him on Revival that he doesn’t already know about himself. It’s more that I want him to answer me because I got ideas for all kinds of shit to say back to him if he does.

Does Eminem think Trump is his daddy?

Poor baby. Maybe Marshall just needs a hug.

So what is Eminem's planned response? Pre-written tweets? A vault full of acapellas ala Tupac? Is Eminem in a lab, armed with pen and pad, trying to find a rhyme for orange?

I’m not going to give any away now, but I’ve got lines ready if he says something about me. I get almost flustered thinking about him — that’s how angry he makes me.

Eminem once shared the Grammy stage with Sir Elton John. Now he's reduced to writing anti-Trump fanfiction for The Huffington Post. Appearing on Dancing with the Stars would have been less of a career embarrassment.

Until Slim Shady can cope with Trump showing him the hand, watch our interpretation of Marshal's PLEASE LOVE ME, TRUMP video:

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