The European Union has been a raging control freak lately. No surprise there (see European Union Plans to Fine Countries... For Refusing Refugees). Now they're making it virtually impossible for EU countries to enforce their own immigration policies.

Migrants cannot be imprisoned just because they have entered a country illegally, Europe's highest court has ruled.

Normally I let the pull quote run longer than one sentence. But that one needs to breathe for a little bit. Migrants cannot be imprisoned just because they have entered a country illegally. Which begs the question: what does someone who's already broken the law need to do to warrant prison, a place for people who break the laws? Specifically someone who has invaded a country. Without that country knowing anything about said invader. Think about that for a second.

The EU Return Direct [says] illegal immigrants must be invited to go home voluntarily first, within a window of up to a month.

A similar policy should be adopted for breaking-and-entering perpetrators. I'm calling my local police station. BRB.

People can only be locked up if they later fail to comply with a deportation order, if letting them go risks undermining the deportation order, or if they are convicted of another offence. In effect, it means that simply entering a country illegal[ly] is no grounds for imprisonment.

In other words, you have to ask them nicely to leave. Because the people who ignored the law in the first place are totes going to do what you tell them to. But only if you don't jail them. After all, they're human beings with rights and everything. You have to treat them as such. You can't just punish them all willy nilly. Make sense? It better. If it doesn't make sense to you...

The problem with that is we're talking about sneaky, festering buckets of human feces. Buckets of feces with a proclivity to suicidal explosions. If ever you wondered of the etymology of our favorite term "Shit bomb"... you're welcome.

Yes, many of these migrants are looking to cause trouble. And by that I mean tons of them want to murder a bunch of people (remember Brussels and France?). Allhu Akbar, bitches.

Are there any good migrant folks out there? Of course. But those guys aren't going to lie about their identities or steal someone's passport. They'll follow the rules. They want to be treated like humans so they act like humans. You know, instead of swarming locusts.

If Europe wants to let everyone in sans a legitimate vetting process, then fine. That's their prerogative, albeit a rather crappy one. Still, they should explain something for the rest of us normies who just don't get it: why doesn't the EU become one giant, borderless amoeba? They're already halfway there. (OPINION: We Don't Need 'Open Borders', We Need to Export Freedom) Exclusive sources tell me the answer is... because that's the worst idea ever. Having weak borders, or none at all, sucks. Just ask any nation that's ever been invaded. It doesn't pan out too well.

Also, guess what? After the Paris terror attacks, France closed its borders. I know, huh. Bunch of racists. But as it turns out, knowing who's coming into your country? Kind of important. Also important? Punishing people who break the law. Especially if you're not sure who they are, what with them being illegal immigrants.

Speaking of illegal immigrants...

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