Before we get to Hillary Clinton, I want you to read these two quotes:

"So hard in this new media age to do anything that looks spontaneous to political world. This Hillary road trip idea has done just that."

-Chuck Todd, totally super serious and unbiased journalist, NBC News

"Part of why yesterday was so successful is [Hillary] looks like she's having fun and she's doing, for her, new stuff. We’ve never seen her get a burrito before.”

Mark Halperin, totally super serious and unbiased journalist, Bloomberg News

I ask you to keep these two non-partisan journalist quotes in mind as the wheels continue to fall off of Hillary Clinton's campaign launch.  This will probably just be one in a series here on LwC, so we'll just call this installment "Iowa."

It starts with this exclusive report from The Daily Mail about how Hillary's campaign staff actually RECRUITED and DROVE the "ordinary" Iowans to her campaign stop.  One of them was even a Democrat operative who drove Joe Biden around the state because when they asked for volunteers, he stood still while everyone else took a step back. Including the guy in the wheelchair. Maybe Chuck Todd and I have a different definition of the word "spontaneous." We definitely have a different definition of the word "journalism."

Then there is this story, about how she didn't tip for her burrito. Don't get me wrong.  You shouldn't get tipped for making me fast food any more than you should for making my latte.  But this is Hillary Clinton! Champion of the poor and downtrodden! Hashtag raise the wage! Hashtag you charge extra for guac? I know liberals are cheap bastards who don't believe in tipping, but if only for the cameras, she should have kicked in a buck or two. She's not even a good phony.

There's no doubt that she knew that cameras were on her, because her campaign alerted the press to make sure they knew to cover this "spontaneous" stop of hers. Kind of like how the paparazzi manages to catch all of Kim Kardashian's "spontaneous" swimsuit malfunctions.

Finally, and this literally just came out, she even lied about her grandparents being immigrants, just because, hat trick.