Keeping track of Who's Who in Twentieth Century Freaks Who Walk Among Us is becoming a full time occupation. I'll work on a shorter book title as I expand the binding, for a new contender has entered the tome: a man who wants to look like an elf. Not to be confused with Extraterrestrial Freak, Dragon Lady Freak, or She who Chases Laser Pointers Because Me-ow, Me-ow Clean my Litter Box Freak.

I shall call him Legolas, and he shall be mine and he shall be my Legolas. From the Daily Mail:

A fantasy fanatic has spent more than £25,000 on plastic surgery as he wants to become a real-life elf.

Luis Padron, 25, from Buenos Ares, Argentina, became obsessed with the world of elves, angels and fantasy beings after being bullied as a child.

Okay, so retreating into the fantasy so as not to deal with reality isn't that alarming. Books, movies, games, are diversions from real world issues. That's fair. And he (or she) among us hasn't known (or hasn't been) that Sci-fi or fantasy weirdo bombarding all his or her friends (few as they may have been) with quotes or facts of the geekish nature? May the force be with you, always. Okay? Okay...

He became determined to look like his favourite otherworldly characters and started bleaching his hair and skin.

Ah, so close. One too many rings to rule them all.

He now has a £4,000-a-month ritual applying specialist creams, dyes, treatment and SPF 100 sunscreen.

He's also fronting a large bill to turn his wife into the cave-dwelling Gimli.

Sure, we could spend the rest of our lovely time together mocking the probably earth-tone faux leather pants off of this middle-earth ninja. But I want to hone in on the key issue which relates to much of the Trans-InsertYourFantasyHere movement. Luis was bullied in school, as many kids are. Like many children, he sought a diversion from his torment and chose, as many kids do, fantasy.

...and there he remained.

Luis, like his trans-species and trans-human compadres, either couldn't or wouldn't leave the fantastical mental safe space he created for himself. He admits as much:

'The fantasy genre makes me happy and because I didn't have many friends when I was younger I submerged myself into it.'

And like a Gollum stroking the precious, he refused to give it up.

'Over time things changed, older teens liked me because I was unique and that's what encouraged me to start turning what I felt on the inside into a reality.

I read the entire article. At no point did I see reference to Luis being referred to a psychiatrist or a counselor. Which isn't to say he wasn't seen by a mental health professional, only that the writer of the original Daily Mail article failed to mention anything about Luis' mental health care. An interesting topic of its own.

Because Luis' epic swan dive into fantasy went, perhaps, unchecked, Luis is mutilating his body so his inner fantasy can be reflected outwardly. He's destroying his own human form to become something which isn't human.

'I want to have my ears cut to become pointy like an elves, my jaw to look more sharp like a diamond, a face-lift and an eye-lift to give my eyes a cat-like shape.

'I am also consider having muscle implants too.

'There's also a surgery to make you taller and I will remove four of my ribs too, so that I can shape my waist to make it thinner.'

But Luis transitioning to a character from Labyrinth shouldn't come as a surprise. We've lionized people with mental illness who decided to turn their inward delusion into an outward reality. We've seen the effects of what happens to anyone who dares question both the validity of the trans movement, and how that movement affects people who accurately identify that of which they are.

Dizzying, I know. But whenever you or I call a "transwoman" a man or a "transman" a woman, we're labeled bigots and transphobes. Read also Dear Liberals: Face it, You're Anti-Science "Realityphobes."

Whatever happened to the "self-acceptance" movement, of loving and improving who you actually are, not who you pretend to be to escape bullies or physical/mental torment? Anyone got an answer?

Watch former transgender Walt Heyer tell his trans story.

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