One of the deadliest trends sweeping America is fat acceptance. Forget about telling the truth about the health consequences of having the build of a beach ball. Instead, we should build up the porkers' self-esteem and tell them it's healthy to have a BMI of a sperm whale.

Even the government is getting in on the trend, and they're using your tax dollars.

The National Institutes of Health is spending over $150,000 on a study that aims to fight fat shaming.

"Body shaming is a pervasive form of prejudice, found in cyber bullying, critiques of celebrities' appearances, at work and school, and in public places for everyday Americans," the news site states. "People who are battling obesity face being stereotyped as lazy, incompetent, unattractive, lacking willpower, and to blame for their excess weight.

If blubber-bellied couch potatoes don't like their public image, there's always finding a sustainable, healthy diet and free weights. Just saying.

The pain of these messages may take a toll on health and increase risk of cardiovascular and metabolic disease, according to a new study published in Obesity, the journal of The Obesity Society, led by a research team from the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania."

You know what else causes all of those things? Being large enough to qualify as a planet. Shifting gravitational pulls with every nibble of pastry.

Another study cowritten by Pearl in 2012 argued for more "positive media portrayals of obese individuals" in television and film.

Ah, so the key to weight loss is blowing sunshine up the stretch-marked rear ends of the big-boned and telling them they're perfect.

Nobody is suggesting we should ridicule the rotund on the street. But, we're not about to tell them their clogged arteries and quadruple-digit blood sugar levels are some sort of ideal. You wouldn't help a junkie get clean by prepping his crack pipe for him, would you? Well maybe if you would if you're Philadelphia. Promoting "fat acceptance" is just as nonsensical.

No amount of government fundage is going to make the plumpers svelte. Telling airplane-seat-challenged individuals they're fine just the way they are will only keep stock in Burger King at an all time high and treadmills collecting dust. Try honesty instead.

While we're on the subject:

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