We bring you yet another dramatic story of terrible feminism (see Feminist Linda Sarsour Exploits Hurricane Victims to Raise Funds for Political Activism and Feminists SHAME Actress for Being a Virgin. But Remember, ‘Slut-Shaming’ is BAD!). This time our antagonist is a size 18 land whale with yellow hair. She's at the forefront of the new frontier in civil rights. Namely, making shopping easier for the fatties. Observe...

Imagine trying on five pairs of the same-style size 18 shorts in a small, poorly lit dressing room because each pair you try on frustratingly fits differently. Or being plus-size and needing to find a last-minute outfit when there are only a handful of brick-and-mortar stores offering extended sizes. This is just a glimpse of the problems that we curvy folks have to deal with on a regular basis.

Here's a quick reminder of what this "curvy" lady looks like. Just cause.

Shopping is not an easy task for most, but it’s especially challenging for those whose body type does not fall within the industry norm, aka above a size 10. I’m not going to lie — it totally sucked growing up with the amount of plus-size exclusion I faced, and it definitely played a negative role in my self-esteem. That said, if there were a time to be plus-size in fashion, it would be now.

But some brands seem to want to cash in on the body-positivity movement by thoughtlessly creating clothing that does not actually fit the plus-size customer’s body — mainly because the designs were not researched and the patterns were not scaled correctly.

This may be hard to believe now. But, once upon a time, being a Pillsbury-Doughboy-lookalike was not the norm. Thus the lack of parachute-sized clothing. There's no elite league of chubb-hating patriarchs conspiring to deny the airplane-seat-impaired a suitable covering. You think we want to see you guys running around naked?

There are plenty of clothing options for plus-sized gals. Even those of the Hindenburg variety. They may not be as flashy or as stylish as others. But, such is the price you pay when you're the size of a Freightliner. That may seem harsh but, barring a legitimate medical condition, the plight of the morbidly rotund is self-inflicted. If she's that peeved about the poor quality of her tarps clothing, there's always portion control and the treadmill.

The entire fat supremacist movement is built on laziness. Which, coincidentally, is what turns said fatties into gelatinous blobs. If they don't like what the stores are selling, there's a simple solution. Either buy a sewing machine and make your own clothes, or drop some poundage and fit into the stores' offerings properly. Whining about their shopping plight on the interwebs from their candy-wrapper-covered couches solves nothing.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.