Just when you thought the desperate, pathetic B (and C) List celebrity pity videos would end, along comes faux president Martin Sheen, with his cabinet of "that guy" actors to implore (or demand) members of the electoral college to vote against Donald Trump. Because suddenly these stellar citizens of the United States care about the constitution. Not sure where they were the last eight years when Obama printed out copies so he could wipe his ass with it. But they're here now. With the cares. They care so much, they hired a pianist (or a soundboard with piano-like tones) to play melodramatically in the background. Why? Because science says B (and C) List celebrities, in combination with piano music, totally change the minds of the electoral college electors. I read all about it in Hogwarts a History.

Only 37 Electors are needed to change the course of history. Record your own video addressing them directly—let them know why you support them, and share why you think their decision is so important to America. Share the video with the hashtags #UniteForAmerica and #SupportTheElectors.

If you could bottle the lack of self awareness among celebrities - still - a month after the election, you'd cure all the cancer. Along with AIDS, Zika, Ebola, all the flus (bird and swine) as well as herpes. Or maybe that's herp-derpery.

Other than Martin Sheen, who else's name did you guess? Debra Messing around with politics, sure, but she's not had a lot to do since living with her gay partner Will. Anyone else? The scientist from Jurassic Park who keeps breeding raptors. Against Dr. Grant's advice, by the way. So he should be fired. I don't even care if Chris Pratt has the raptors trained now. The giant multi-dino-DNA thing that caused so much chaos at Jurassic World? Well it led to Pi crashing his helicopter. After all he'd been through. No mercy to that DNA-manipulating scientist cast only to create plot continuity.

I also recognized the actor who taught Babe how to heard sheep. Baa-raaam-ewe! So if he can teach a pig to be a sheep dog, we should totally trust him with how our republic (NOT A DEMOCRACY) elects its presidents.

With all due respect to the handful of job-seeking actors staring in this video devoid of a background, but stuffed with holier than thou snobbery: STFU. Hillary Clinton, who will have her own miniseries in thirty years, in which she will be a Miltonian Hero (villain), personified political corruption. Which you would realize if you actors didn't have your heads shoved up your own anuses. Fire your publicists, hire proctologists.

Donald Trump wasn't my first choice either. Or second. Or third. I voted for him because I didn't want Hillary Clinton, the devil's pantsuited handmaiden, anywhere near the White House. Her corruption was (and is) legion. Her government would've been pandemonium. I don't care what gender box she checks.

Hillary lost. Trump won. You liberal dumbasses are going to survive. Ask anyone how they survived the past eight years of Obama. Who, by the way? Hates the constitution and has trampled on it every chance he's gotten. At least those times when he wasn't crapping on it. Where were you shining levels of retard when Obama pushed through ObamaCare? The Fast and Furious scandal? The IRS targeting conservatives? Right. Nowhere real, that's where you were. Playing in la-la land or at least trying to.

Do yourselves a favor: shut up. If you can't do that, at least spread this whining out a little better. Wait until October 2018. Just before an election. It'll really help us out, thanks.

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