Dear Feminists who complain about mansplaining and micro-agressions,

While you were starting your new year contemplating the choices for your next unnatural hair-shade, because that blue you've been "rocking" is the color of dandruff shampoo bottles, women in Germany were being sexually accosted by Muslim men. Methinks those gals were just planning on watching the pretty-pretty lights from the fireworks. They probably weren't planning on being attacked by #NotAllMuslims. Oh sure, over the summer it's possible, nay probable, a handful of these fraulines held up a sign saying "REFUGEES WELCOME," but I don't think their ignorance deserved to be met with sexual assault.

Here's the thing. We haven't heard much from you harpies regarding the rising rape culture in Europe, which is odd considering how you bang on about "rape culture" if it's on a college campus allegedly perpetrated by a fraternity. Well, let's be specific: white fraternities. Okay, not always "white fraternities," mostly imaginary fraternities. To be fair, those imaginary rapists are the worst. Super handsy.

Well the women in Cologne got more than just felt up. Some have also been raped. Actual raped, not "regretted it the next day Lena Dunham style" raped. Thanks to you feminists, "rape" now has a sliding scale. Never thought I'd have to put quotation marks around "rape" either. I thank you for that. "Progress."

After Sweden opened its doors to massive immigration (from mostly Islamic countries) their rape numbers blew up like a jihadist. Sweden now enjoys the title of "Rape Capital of the West." Germany is well on its way to the same party. They're giving away handcuffs as party favors. No Fifty Shades of Grey here, just Qur'ans and black eyes. But shhh, you can cover it up with a burka.

You "feminists"? You're still nowhere to be seen or heard. Which is funny, as I said earlier, considering how vocal you are about imaginary rape culture. If a man calls a woman "princess" or "honey" or anything endearing, you call it rape culture. When 1000 Muslim men coordinate a sexual attack on hundreds of women in Cologne and across Germany...?

See, in my anti-feminist mind, I thought that, you know, logically, if you were "pro-womens' rights" (as you keep screaming at anyone who objects to your unreasonable, often silly, always annoying screed) that maybe, just maybe, you'd have something to at least say about what happened in Cologne on New Years. A hashtag? A ribbon campaign? What about selfies with you chicas holding signs that say something about something else? Just throwing out some ideas. In the past you've used all three to tell the world how horrible you think Western men are, I thought perhaps you could apply the same tactics to the dudes of Islam.

But of course you won't challenge the men of Islam. Am I surprised you're a bunch of hypocrites who are more obsessed with celebrating a conservative reporter losing their verification on Twitter than you are for women being raped in Germany and its subsequent attempted cover up? No, because you're all a bunch of spineless cowards. With horrible fashion sense. Purple mushroom cuts? I rest my case.

You're chickens, all of you. Not the hormone-free kind either. The big, fat, giant-breasted kind that sit around squawking all day while laying unfertilized eggs. Which, now I think of it, does a disservice to the chickens. Maybe their eggs are unfertilized, but at least they're not aborting their offspring.

All joking aside, your entire movement lost what little credibility remained when all those women were attacked. German and European government officials even went so far is to excuse the Islamic refugees while cautioning women not to get raped. But wait, it gets worse. European governments are attempting to cover up the severity of the rapes and violence happening across the EU at the hands of refugees...for the sake of political correctness. They're even targeting (with water cannons) the citizenry who are protesting the refugees who rape women. Order of priorities: Political Corectness < Rapey Muslims < Women. If ever there was a time for vocal feminists who oppose "rape culture" and the subjugation of women, it's now. It's in Europe. It's against the governments working in concert with the media who choose to ignore it while bolstering the perpetrators.

Yet you're silent. Or maybe you'd just had a stud pierced through your lip. You're oppressive silence demonstrates how unwilling you are to stand up to men who abuse women. Not just men singular, an entire culture which treats women as objects, who abuses them on a daily basis. Rather than fight Islam, you fabricate tiny battles that don't exist to make yourselves feel empowered. But you run and hide from actual battles.

Islam harbors a rape culture. We're seeing it in Sweden (read Sweden's Open Islamic Immigration: Now Officially the Rape Capital of the West). We're seeing it in Germany. We see it in ISIS. Got it? Islam = real rape culture. Islam doesn't respect women. Islam treats women as second class citizens, and that's on a good day. Liberal governments do nothing about it.

So if you ever want to salvage the pathetic, whiney, useless movement you all cling to so you can fake relevance while believing you're redefining "beauty standards," then I have a tip for you. Write this down somewhere you'll see it. Maybe your refrigerator. I know you visit it with great frequency, what with "fat pride" and all. Here it is: stand up to Islam. Don't get naked and have your pictures taken. Don't cry about the patriarchy. Don't intentionally make yourself uglier so people will feel sorry for you. There's no additional need for that, we already do.

Stop feeling sorry for yourselves, start feeling sorry for any woman who comes in contact with Islam. Especially a group of Muslim men. They have this nasty habit of gang-raping virgins. They'll even talk about it right in front of you if they think you can't understand them. Start feeling sorry for the women who live with Islamic men, through no choice of their own, under socialistic or liberal government regimes who do nothing to protect these women.

Did you write that down ladies? Stand up to Islam. Advocate for women who live in actual rape culture. Battle the patriarchal governments who allow these women to be raped by unchecked Islamic immigration. They need your advocacy, they need your attention, they need your voice. If you can take the power of your commanding attention-seeking skills and apply it to a movement which actually requires it, perhaps you'll be a relevant movement and not the tattooed butt of our jokes.

Well...no promises, but it'll be a start.

Written by Courtney Kirchoff