In case you've been busy spirit cooking and haven't watched the news, Donald Trump won the election. Casting the pantsuited she-beast back to the deepest caverns of Hell. Don't feel bad for her. I'm sure she received a ticker-taped parade celebrating her momentous homecoming.

Trump's election inadvertently fired the starting gun of the Butthurt Olympics. So far, we've seen stellar performances from the competitors (read TRUMP WINS ELECTION: Hillary’s Liberals Lose It!). But a new contender has taken the field. A HuffPo writer says if you voted for Trump, you are guilty of a hate crime.

We are all still reeling from the shock of the election results. Hillary Clinton won the popular vote yet we now must brace ourselves for a Trump Administration. The more I think about it and see the reactions from all sides, the more this feels like the aftermath of an attack ― a literal attack ― on our communities.

The groups that those “deplorables” love to hate and feel threatened by are now under attack: LGBT people, people of color, women, Muslims, the disabled and many others. This election was a hate crime. Not physical but psychological, and one that may well lead to legal and physical manifestations that would very much be categorized as hate crimes.

Somebody get this woman a Kleenex. From Costco. Not just one ply, a whole pallet. Toss in a box of Depends. Methinks plenty of this lady's undergarments have been soiled these days past. No, that's not a sexist joke. I'm comparing her to a pre-potty-trained toddler who has lost control of both bladder and rectum. What with all the Trump victory up in the US of A.

I've got some advice for you liberals. You wanna know the reason you lost? You're doing it right now. Read Dear Violent Liberal Turds Protesting a Fair Election: You're the Reason for Trump!

Also, you're actually not being attacked. You've misplaced the concern from people who are being attacked onto yourselves. Not surprising, you do like to make yourselves the center of the universe. But it's your leftist buddies who have beat the crap out of Trump supporters. Cities nationwide are like scenes from a George Romero movie. Left-wing zombies roam the streets (read LOVE TRUMPS HATE: California’s Pro-Hillary Protesters Turn to Rioting, Violence…). They're on the hunt for Republican blood. All because things didn't go their way. Boo hoo!

This election is the gift that keeps on giving. Leftists, consider yourselves exposed. As butt dumplings. Unapologetic butt dumplings. Which is the worst flavor of butt dumpling. Up until Tuesday, progressives loved talking about "democracy" and "accepting the outcome of the election." Apparently those things only matter when they're the ones winning.

So, when the pudgy, waddling leftists smash your stuff and rough you up, know it's because you're an intolerant bigot, who dared have a different opinion.

"Love trumps hate!"

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